Countdown

SO, if you haven;t been reading my blog then you might not know that I am getting ready for the Neola 5K which is going to be ran on July 4th here in Neola where I live! I will say that at first I was really scared, but I was down at the gym today and I can 1.5 miles with a pretty fair amount of ease. I believe that the 5k is like 3.3 miles total BUT I am so happy becuase our running course IS ALL DOWN HILL! :)

YEAH FOR US! LOL!! We are running down from the sawmill up here in Neola towards the church and it is all down hill. I am actually getting excited about it! PLUS, I am even more excited to let you know that I am going to doing barrel racing stuff on Mon nights in Duchesne! YEAH FOR ME! LOL!!

Yes, I am a dork BUT I am just so happy to be able to do this stuff because I have taken the time to get healthier! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Michelle 6-17-2009

What did YOU do this weekend?

So what did YOU do this weekend?

ME, well I participated in the 3rd Annual Diabetes Fun Show in Vernal, Utah at Western Park. Check out my photo slideshow up above to see what we did!

Out of 11 events, I placed in 7 of them. I took 3rd place in 3 events and 4th place in 4 others. Not bad for a first timer, eh? I had fun and so did the kids AND OH MAN, AM I SORE!!! LOL!!

I have rode my horse a lot but it is normally on the mountain and so then to go and do events like this really put my body and past few months of excercise to the test! It is definitely a lot more work than I realized. BUT it was so worth it. This entire event came about because 2 young ladies decided that they wanted to help others and so they decided to help raise money for the juvenile diabetes research fund. This is their 3rd year doing it and this year I was able to go out and join in the fun!

If you decide that next year you want a day of just laughs and horses and kids and fun and all of it meant for a good cause, then make sure you join us!

Weekend Survival!

It is really hard sometimes when you hit the weekend to NOT go into those old habits of eating too much or not exercising. BUT then you add a camping trip into the mix and you have just given yourself a self-control problem by 100 fold! That was my weekend this last week. It was Memorial day weekend and my family and I went camping up to Red Creek here in Utah. HOLY COW!! First of all, it rained off and on all weekend, that was not the problem by itself, what the problem was that we ended up spending MUCH more time in camp then normal so I was tempted to eat that many more BAD things!

Actually, I wasn't too bad! I won't lie, I did indulge in some of my yummy Dutch oven potatoes bacon, cheese and all! YUMMY!! BUT…I didn't eat as many as I usually did! I also made sure that I brought myself good snacks, like yogurt and string cheese! For breakfast (most mornings) I had whole wheat pancakes which helped to keep me filled up so that I wouldn't want to snack as much AND (drum roll please!!!) I HAD NO SODA ALL WEEKEND!!! YEAH!! Yes, I did have LOTS of water and I did have some juice, which is killer for sugar, but I did stay away from my Diet Coke!

I did have the intentions of going running but the clay mud was NASTY and I just got new running shoes which I have no qualms getting dirty but not caked in mud! So I didn't run. I did however just spend the last 4 hours out in my yard weeding 2 of my flower beds and getting the front of house ready to put in another flower bed. (Man, my back is killing me now!) So I did get some good work in that way!

I have a full week so I will not keep you but just an FYI…I am also working on slide shows for the photo contest as well! By tonight, I should be posting the first of several! YEAH!!!

Michelle 5-27-2009

Cough, Cough, GAG!

SO…I just got back from running with my sister Kristin right! First off I have to say I want to punch in her in the nose cuz she is always saying how fat she is and how she is blubber and yada, yada, yada! GAG ME! IF I HAD THE MONEY I WOULD PAY A DOCTOR GOOD MONEY TO GIVE ME A BODY LIKE HERS! SO HUSH UP KRISTIN! J!! (So I wouldn't really punch in her in the nose! But I have told her that before, just ask her! LOL!!)

We have decided to run the 5K marathon here in Neola where we live! ACTUALLY…It was Shallin Squires idea! THANKS SHALLIN!!! We are going to do it is as a Healthy Edge type thing. If you want to join us, then just ask! We all figure that this is a GREAT way to incorporate another type of goal into our exercise that we are all doing. So once again, THANKS SHALLIN FOR THE AWESOME IDEA!!

With that being said, I think I should tell people some facts about running…

Are you ready for my very profound insights?

Here we go…

IT IS FREAKING HARD AND IT KINDA BITES! J Also, if you are getting yourself in shape by running, YOU CAN NOT QUIT FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE OF DAYS OR YOU LOSE YOUR CONDITIONING!!!

I do speak of this from past experience. I used to run Cross Country in High School and there was a reason we practiced 5 days a week! Also, IT IS A LOT HARDER RUNNING OUTSIDE ON THE ROAD THAN INSIDE ON MY TREADMILL!! I am sure you are all laughing right now and it is ok! Just don't pee in your pants ok! So I am running with Kristin this morning and I am just dying because I haven't been doing the normal cardio of 2.5 miles on the treadmill. Ok, OK, I will admit, I have slacked off a little bit the last couple of weeks, BUT I have been doing other stuff like the arc trainer or the recumbent bike, BUT nothing takes the place of good old fashioned running and I felt it this morning. Also I think I am getting a bladder infection so every jiggly, wiggly, bouncy step I took KILLED MY BACK! Honestly. OH Well, I went, didn't I?

NOW IT IS YOUR TURN!!! Get up and get out AND STEP AWAY FROM THE ICE CREAM!!! J You will thank me later!

oh, quote of the day:
It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Michelle 5-15-2009

Times Up

TIMES UP!

Thanks to all who submitted their photos! We will be picking out our winners during the next few days so keep on checking back to see if we drop any hints! J

A New Day

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense."
–– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

I love this quote! Actually, I just love reading Ralph Waldo Emerson! I know that for some he might be too "heavy" or "deep", but that is the reason why I love to read him so much. He has a way of putting it out there and in your face and telling you to deal with it and get over it! Just like this quote! He tells us to not be cumbered by our old nonsense! WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!! Me, probably much more than most! But that is just how it is, isn't it. I woke up this morning just crying cuz I am so depressed over how fat I am! I really struggle when I look at the lifestyle I lead which is very active and yet I am still overweight and I look like I am about 5 months pregnant. lovely! I really hate looking like this and feeling like this! I also hate the thought that if I want to be thin that I am never allowed to eat again! It is all because my body is so screwed up from those damn birth control pills I took 13 years ago. They messed up my hormones and I have struggled ever since then! So I just take it one day at time and try to leave my nonsense of yesterday behind me!

 

Michelle 5-11-2009

Friday Activities

So today is Friday May 8th and here is what I am going to do today!

AVIOD CANDY! LOL! So you may be asking me WHY? Well, because I am premenstrual right now and there are about 3 weeks out of the month that I am controlled by those nasty hormones! I am sure you are laughing, which is fine, you can laugh, BUT it is true. Here is where my doc thinks part of my thyroid problem is coming into play. SO here is what I am going to do today!

BREAKFAST: Yogurt and 2 liters of water

at 9:30 AM I will be working out with Shilo down at Kody's for about an hour (AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER!!!). I will then come home and round up my horse and take her down to the arena and work with her. ANOTHER GREAT WORKOUT! Then Seth and I will have lunch.

LUNCH: I am thinking a salad with grilled chicken that I am making here at the house. (just pulled the chicken from the freezer to thaw!) I will drink a lot more water to try to curb that desire for sweets!! AAHHH!!! I hate these cravings!

I will then go and get some work done with the magazine by doing follow-up sales appts. After I am done with that, I plan on going out to my garden spot and planting my vegetable starts (before they die!) which will be nice because it will be MORE exercise!

DINNER: I think that I will grill MORE chicken for me and the fam because it is a great healthy dinner. My kids are asking for asparagus so I am probably going to pick some of that up at the store when I am in town working out because if they are wanting it, than who am I to deny them! J

After dinner, We might go watch either the new Star Trek, or the new X-Men movie, OR depending if I can get rid of ALL my kids, MAYBE BOTH!!! I am so wild and crazy! Seth and I may even make out in the back row of the movie theater, so if you see us, JUST WALK ON BY! (he-he, I TOTALLY crack myself up!)

So here is my motivational quote of the day:

"Fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish your opponent would crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round – remembering that the man who always fights one more round is never whipped."
James Corbett

HIT MY GOAL!

YEAH!! I am so excited because I just had to brag on myself for a sec! I HIT MY FIRST GOAL OF 220 LBS!

YEE HAW!!! I know, I know, I am sure you think I am a goof ball, but this has been very difficult for me especially since my husband has been home due to an injury and subsequent surgery due to his job. It was not so much that he was home, it was the fact that his employer was more than willing to allow us to suffer financially even though this was an on the job injury.

It has really given me A HUGE amount of anxiety and stress. I guess the biggest reason of all was because Seth's Lt was the one who refused to stand up for him and make sure that he was taken care of. Here was a man for whom I had, at one time, a great deal of respect for now telling me, that "this is just policy". Even though he couldn't actually say what policy it was that he supposedly enforcing! It was just some policy that one time, "a long time ago" (yes he actually said that to me!) some Col with the Highway Patrol agreed to and so now we have to follow it! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

I became a little irate to say the least! It is very difficult for me to see the amount of loyalty that my husband gives to this state agency. Loyalty to the point that it has nearly cost us our marriage, and the man who he looks up to as his "supervisor" and who also lives and works here in the Basin with my husband, was more then willing to hang him out to dry over nothing more than Seth performing his duties and sustaining an injury! I understand policy and procedure and I understand the importance of rules for us as a society to live by so that we may function properly. However!!!! What I do not understand is when my husband is asked to sacrifice everything! Including his life if need be, BUT his Lt is not willing to stick his neck out on the line, even slightly, for my husband and ask for something as simple, as not causing my family an even greater financial hardship due to an on the job injury.

So that is the stress I have been dealing with. When I stress, I eat! I am not claiming either that the stress I experience is any worse than anyone else's hardships in their lives. On the contrary, I know for a fact that there are families and individuals out there who would be grateful to have my problems instead of theirs! I can only attest to the hardships that I experience and how it directly affects my goals and attitudes.

It is just like I wrote in my previous blog about mental attitude.

"YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IT TO ACHIEVE IT!!"

But there is also another great saying that I learned while in Mary Kay that I feel might apply even more so to my current situation.

"SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT, UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!"

Have any of you ever heard that one before? If not, then think about it hard! This quote is not saying that you need to be a fake or false person! This quote is saying that there will be many times in your life that you are not feeling up to it or so sure of yourself and this is when you have to believe that you are the person who you want to be! In the line of work I am in, I get really insecure sometimes talking to people, so I have to simply tell myself that of course they want to be a part of this AMAZING magazine, because really, WHO WOULDN'T?!?!?!?

I have to use this same thought process to pull myself through when I am dealing with my own personal struggles (like my husband's ignorant supervisor or my own self-doubt about losing this weight!).

This is the whole reason we do not call this a weight loss contest, but a LIFESTYLE CHANGE! I will continue to grow and to learn and to adapt into a better person. Yes, I am sure this better person will have greater patience! Until then, I will simply "fake it" by continually visualizing myself as the woman that I am striving to become and until I "make it!"

Michelle 5-5-2009

Its a Brain Thing

OK!

So I have had several people comment to me that they thought I needed to talk more about what I am doing to lose weight. I will but let me say why I am so hyped up about the mental side of things.

Your mindset can make or break you! It sucks to admit that sometimes, but it is the truth! Whether you are positive about yourself, or negative about yourself, it will play a HUGE impact on how and what you can accomplish!

I have already told all of you that I have struggled with depression before. A lot of that depression was brought on by the physiological response my body had to being overweight. Extra pounds on your frame can cause things to shift in the chemical make-up of your brain. I swear it is true! I have researched this for myself and while I do not claim to be a medical professional I do stand beside this belief.

Because of this mental barrier that is already in place, it can make losing weight THAT MUCH HARDER!! I do not say this as a reason for you to give up what you are doing, but to encourage to strive for that goal that much more.

My husband and I were talking the other day and I shared with him a comment that someone had told me about myself. We were discussing how because of my tendency to hyperactivity, I intimate people at times. It is not that I mean too, but because I overcompensate my own insecurities with overconfidence! I told him that I had someone call me a "contradiction in terms!" He laughed for a moment and then proceeds to tell me that I am!

Let me explain. I am a type A personality which means I am very driven and motivated and I know what I want, BUT (and this is a big BUT!) I am a self saboteur! Within my own internal psyche I do not feel that I am good enough or worthy enough for what I am working so hard for or striving so diligently to obtain. I told you I was crazy, huh? :) Ok, Ok, you can quit giggling now!

So I have these two VASTLY different emotions rolling around within my head and my heart and it can cause a lot of internal turmoil that I have had to learn to control and master. I believe that to a certain extent, we all experience this same cycle of ups and downs. Especially us women who are blessed with these extra hormones meant for helping us to bear children. That is why I am such a big time talker on the mental side of your weight loss journey.

I have my weeks where I go down and I work out with Shilo and she just kills me! Then I come home and either run on my treadmill or run with my sister AND THEN I GO AND EAT THE ENTIRE CARTON OF MOOSE TRACKS ICE CREAM!!! (Yes, I hate to admit because it is REALLY embarrassing!) Talk about TOTALLY undoing all the hard work that I had just done.

This is the reason that I feel it is SO very, VERY important to have a support group around you. You need to have others to talk to about those emotions and feelings that you are experiencing because more than likely, THEY ARE TOTALLY NORMAL!!!

I just want you to take a deep breath and realize that tomorrow is a new day and YOU CAN ALWAYS START OVER! Blog with us if you are having a hard time with something. Come and feel the support of those in this area who want to see you succeed with your goals! I know I want to see you happy...the question is, DO YOU?

Michelle 4-30-2009

Leading A Horse To Water

"Leadership is not manifested by coercion, even against the resented. Greatness is not manifested by unlimited pragmatism, which places such a high premium on the end justifying any means and any measures." – Margaret Chase Smith

I have to start off by saying that I had something occur this week that had really had me very unsettled, well no, it actually had me really pissed and upset to think that someone would treat me like that! So much so that my nerves got the better of me and I was literally eaten up inside which caused me to get quite ill. I will not go into details about the issue, but it really got me thinking about how our actions influence those around us. This influence can be for both the negative and the positive. Although I will say that I feel like most of the time, it is for the negative.

I started to also really do some deep self reflection when I read an awesome blog by Andrea Nielson who is one the writers for me here at The Edge Magazine. She was talking about being humble and how when people have to constantly remind you of their greatness then they must not be so great after all. I must say, that I agree whole heartedly. If you are interested in reading more of it, then go and check her out at
http://andreaspersonaldebates.blogspot.com.

I have discovered during my lifetime that so many times we feel like we are acting or behaving in a certain way, when we are actually not and all those around us perceive what we are doing as completely opposite of what we meant it to be! The affects of our behavior can be either great or it can completely backfire and cause MUCH more harm than good. I know, I have had to eat A LOT of humble pie in the past and it sucks to have to apologize for my behavior.

I have found that sometimes it is really hard to be in the limelight with the job I perform here with the magazine, even though I absolutely love owning this magazine and getting to know the area and its people better! It is hard for me, however, to have people constantly call me out when they see me purchasing food that may not be so good for me, or if they read something in the magazine that they do not care for, or…well, I could definitely go on, but I am sure you get the point! The point is that so many times, being in a leadership position (and any business owner is!) I have discovered that it is just as important for me to be humble and grateful to ALL those around me, as it is to sometimes sell my accomplishments in order to allow people to see my value and worth. Being the "boss" or the leader normally means an even greater degree of sacrifice than anyone else around me. I have accepted this as my choice because it is! I am also a firm believer of NEVER asking someone to do something that I myself am not also willing to do. That is really hard sometimes too!

I have found though that more often than not, it is my willingness to treat others as my equals that has allowed me to be an effective leader. I feel so very blessed to have been able to work with the extraordinary people that I have in the past where I have been able to learn what it means to overcome, persevere and succeed, even when EVERY thing and EVERY one around you is telling you that you cannot. When I ask someone a question about their health or their family or anything that would normally be considered "polite" conversation, I am genuinely interested in knowing! I will openly admit that I put other's feelings and emotions before my own continually because I feel that I have reached a point in my life that I do not enjoy contention or mal-content. I am truly excited when others are excited about what they are doing, even if it is not always my favorite. I have learned that this is nothing more then simple and basic people skills, although for me, it is because I want to truly know what is important to others.

I enjoy how I feel, when I can walk away from someone and say to myself that I think that they were happy with their contact with me. I want people to benefit from their interaction with me, and not have it just be a one way street. I have been in situations in the past when I struggled with a "power-trip" complex and it was miserable! I was constantly on the defensive, I was always thinking people were trying to take advantage of me, and most of all, I was continually upset that people wouldn't do what I said. That is until I had a talk with every magnificent woman named Julianne Clayson-McGillis. Julianne is a National Sales Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics, and the VERY FIRST National Sales Director to ever debut in Utah. I do know her personally because I had the opportunity to work with her one on one when I was a sales director in Mary Kay several years back. For those of you who do not understand the importance of Julianne's position in this company, let me simply say this. She is in Mary Kay retirement. She NEVER has to sell another lipstick EVER again or recruit another consultant and she will still be a in the top 1% of people in Utah today when it comes to earned wages, including sports stars and well to do business men. Yes, she makes that much money and she lives in Sandy, Utah. And she did it by making TONS of sacrifices of herself in order to build up others and make them feel that they are of worth and value. Julianne had a crappy life. She was diagnosed with MS when she was a very young, single mom, but she never once used that as an excuse to not be a leader and more importantly, a good example!

Julianne explained to me that no matter what it is you are attempting to get people to do, you have to be willing to ask them in a nice a way and build them up or they will NEVER do what you ask of them with the proper attitude and spirit. She said threats do nothing but hurt feelings and cause much more harm than good! She gave us a great example one day in training that I want to share. She was speaking to us about her son who was HORRIBLE at keeping his room clean. (I mean to the point there was mold in there! GROSS!) So she started an experiment with him. Now, keep in mind this is a 17 year old boy who doesn't really care what his parents say, think, or do because if he felt too much pressure, he had already said he would just leave. So Julianne started with what I guess you could call reverse psychology on him. Every morning before he went off to school she would just give him a huge hug and then tell him thanks for being so willing to help her out and keep his room picked up. That was it. Well she said that for 2 months, NOTHING changed. He would give her a weird look and say "whatever mom" and leave. She never spoke to him negative, she never embarrassed him in front of his friends or the rest of their family, she never went and picked it up herself, she did nothing but build him up by saying thank-you to him. Yes, it was a thank-you and a recognition for something he had not done yet, but eventually he did! Actually he ended up doing so much more because he felt he was appreciated! That was the key she said…making others feel appreciated!

I have found this to be true in my own life. The more I give my kids POSITIVE recognition and re-enforcement, the better things are in my home. Do I still get cranky? YES!! Do the kids always do things perfectly? NO!! BUT, I do feel better about myself and my kids feel better about themselves and they get (well at least some of) the things done I want them to do for the most part. My next goal with my kids…CLEAN ROOMS! J

So the whole point of my journaling so late tonight, is because I have decided that the old saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink" TOTALLY applies to families, businesses, churches, schools, EVERY aspect in life where you are attempting to be a leader. A person must be humble and I pray daily that I am able to be humble so that I am able to see clearly the pathway in front of me as continue in my daily journey's of life!

DONE!!!

He he! I am so excited because I have figured out on my own how to have REALLY cool fonts on my blog! Yup, I am a nerd! I will not deny it!

So, I AM DONE!!!! Well, with this semester anyways. J Oh school! I just turned in my two final assignments for my two English classes and I am hoping I do good because so far in the one class, I have only missed 1 point out of all the points possible. I am truly a bit of an overachiever and I told you guys all that before!

BUT, I still have to finish up a couple of tests from my physics class a year ago which I took an incomplete in but that I plan on finishing this summer. Yes, Physics. I have already taken one semester and got an "A" in it, so I have to finish this other semester and get an "A" in it too.

I am sure many of you are asking me why I am so INSANE to keep on going to school while I am doing this magazine, it is because as long as I am going to school, I can keep my student loans in default! J It is ok, you can laugh! It is funny. Seth and I just do not have the money for me to have to make payments on those loans yet.

Yes, I know I am being uncouth for speaking of finances but WHO ISN'T now a days? With me starting this magazine, we took on a lot of debt and even though the magazine is paying its own bills, it doesn't pay me!

It will one day but I do not want to take money from the business until we get more of our initial start-up costs paid down. So until that day, I am just like everyone else and pinching pennies to survive. I was WAY excited about the whole end of semester thing and so I thought I would share it with ya!

OH, and I got this awesome new quote:

"Courage is the 
discovery that 
you may not win, 
and trying when 
you know you 
can lose." 
- Tom Krause

I love it because it reminds me that some days when I am feeling overwhelmed and asking myself why when it feels like I am only going to fail…that I just need to pick my head up and keep on pushing ahead!

THANKS GUYS! Talk to you later!

Michelle 4-20-09

The Choices We Make

I have to ask forgiveness especially during the month of April for not blogging more.  Between dance, tumbling, art, wrestling, magazine (and I do the work of about 5 normally paid positions for any other business!), working out, bathing and feeding kids, caring for my husband who just had knee surgery, the attempt on most nights to sleep, my own personal home work with college, my civic duties and my personal religious callings, ohm and when I can find the down time, an attempt at sleep....well you can tell April is HORRIBLE!  I call it my hell month because this is, for me at least, the very worst month of the year for being busy.  No, not even Christmas can hold a candle to end of the school things my kids and I are involved in.

 
 

Yes, I will admit, I must place the blame on myself for being SO busy, but at the same time, I am a firm believer in keeping my kids involved while they are younger (11, 8, and 5 years-old) so that when they are bigger, they will understand not only the value of work, but also how to use their time properly in order to accomplish things and how to more importantly prioritize things.

 
 

Learning how to prioritize is a really hard thing for people to learn.  It is DEFINITELY a learned skill.  Even I struggle with how to prioritize things in my life because I find it is REALLY easy to use this as an excuse to procrastinate or even to simply forego doing certain things.

 
 

It sucks when work pulls me away from my family.  But as an adult, I have to simply grin and bear it sometimes because that is the responsible thing to do.  On the other side of that coin however is the argument of taking care of one's self properly!

 
 

Learning how to maintain a balance in one's life is skill that is difficult to master for I feel that so many of us are also bound by our emotions and desires to please others and gain their acceptance.  How many times have you been asked to do something AND SAID YES, even though you really didn't want to do it?

 
 

I know I have.  Learning to say no is another skill that fits in with the ability to properly balance your life and prioritizing your chosen activities.

 
 

I had my sister call me tonight and ask me to go running.  I wanted to say yes SSSSOOOO badly, but I also knew that I had a commitment to the magazine to post the featured photo of the week on our website, just like I have the responsibility to run a load of laundry so my children and I can have clean clothes to wear tomorrow, just like I need to get the table cleared off and the dishes ran tonight, just like I needed to finish my last 2 assignments for this Spring semester of college, just like I needed to stop and just RELAX for a few moments because my body is screaming in pain at me because of my PMS cramps!

 
 

Do you see my point?

 
 

None of those activities I listed above are any less important than the next BUT how do I chose what to do?

 
 

Well for me, I have come to realize that there will be times that my life is simply NOT BALANCED!

 
 

Oh my goodness, did I say it?  Yes, I did!  I said it!  MY LIFE WILL NOT ALWAYS BE BALANCED AND WILL HAVE TO SAY NO OCCASIONALLY TO BOTH THINGS I REALLY WANT TO DO AND THINGS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DO (even if I feel a obligation to do it anyways!).

 
 

And why do I know that my life will not always be balanced, well it is because of one of my favorite quotes in the whole world:

 
 

"Short Term Sacrifices for a Long Term Gain!"

 
 

I learned this saying when I was a director with Mary Kay Cosmetics years ago.  Yes, I did sell Mary Kay and I was quite successful at it.  However there reached a time in my life when I needed to transition onto something else so that I could grow further into the woman I am meant to become.

 
 

The reason why I loved this quote so much is because it reminded that there are going to be days when my house is messy!  There are going to be days when I do not make it to the gym, or even out for a run with my sis!  There will be days when I have to forego that next chapter in my book, or a shooting expedition with my family, or even a weekend pheasant hunt because I need to do something else in order to try to make things better for me and my family!

 
 

So how do I know when to forego one activity for another, honestly, it is a case by case analysis.  Some days I will knock off work early and get my kids and tell them it is ok to skip dance and tumbling and hang out in front of the TV with me just for down time.  Some days, I will forego sleep in order to be able to deliver upon a commitment  I have to a client at work and I will stay up all night if I have to (YES, I have done it on more than one occasion!) in order to prepare a presentation for them that will hopefully meet or beat their expectations.  Some days, I will forego even a run if my body is so worn down that it is not functioning properly in order to avoid injury of both mind and body!

 
 

But then there are some days when I am on top of the world and everything clicks into place EXACTLY the way it should...I REALLY wish I had more of those days, but until then, I will be happy as I learn day by day to take care of myself so I am then able to be better at EVERY single other aspect of life and career.

 
 

Hopefully this makes sense to you.  Do not however use this as reason to NOT fulfill any obligations that you might have to others.  I do occasionally have to reschedule, BUT only if things are truly beyond my control.  I feel it is important to keep yourself busy for I truly do believe that "Idle Hands Are the Devil's Workshop!".  And it also has a tendency to allow you to pull yourself down into a place where it is hard to keep a positive mental attitude.

 
 

Your own mind is not only your greatest ally, but your deadliest weapon when it comes to self inflicted wounds.  Make sure you are feeding it what it needs to stay strong!

 
 

IF YOU THINK YOU, YOU CAN!!

 
 

Talk to you soon!

Michelle 4-19-2009

So it begins...AGAIN!

HA HA! I have to laugh because I must say that there is A LOT of truth about the cycles and rythms that our bodies go through! Just like my end of the quarter goal...I missed it! IT SUCKS!!! I was really upset becuase I was only able to get down one more lbs and so I ended it at 222 lbs. Then I did go into to Kody's for like a week because of work and who knows what I am weighing now!

So I figured that it is time to wipe away those tears and just buck up and pull on my big girl panties and move forward from here! That is what I am doing! It has been a diffucult last few weeks because of the activities that my kids are involved in and then also because of some personal things in my life as well as in the lives of Jenn and Christine! You will have to read their blogs CUZ I AIN'T TELLING!!! :)

So I hit the gym again yesterday and I will do it everyday this week so that I can get back on track! I just had a salad for my breakfast so that I am not tempted to eat some SUGAR!!! And I figure that I have to take the good AND the bad as I make this journey!

Thanks for all of those how have supported us and we look forward to hearing from you!

Michelle 4-8-2009

End of Quarter

So it is almost the end of the first quarter of this "biggest loser" competition. And I am so excited but at the same time I am also disappointed. He he! I am such an overachiever! I feel like I should be so much further ahead of what I am!

I know, I know, I need to remember to calm down and think of everything that I have accomplished so far. I am down to 223 lbs! I am able to fit into clothes that I have had hanging in my closet for nearly a year! (I LOVE VICTORIA'S SECERT FRENCH CUFF WHITE BUTTON DOWN SHIRTS! They make you look HOT!)

BUT, I still look at this HUGE piece of blubber around my midsection that makes me look like I am about 6 months pregnant! I hate it! What I hate even more is how badly I want to have a tummy tuck and how I don't have the funds to do it! So I am sure there are lots of you out there who think I am horrible for saying that but I know women who have had tummy tucks done who had no business getting them done because they were so freaking skinny in the first place.

I do realize that I have some body issues and I guess that I will have to learn to cope and get over them, but I will keep on plugging away every day doing the little bit that I can. I still have 9 more months of this competition and I plan on seeing it through to the end and I plan on being victorious!

So Jenn and Christine, take note! Your numbers are up because I am going to put you to bed with this weight loss thing because there is NOTHING that I hate more then NOT being in first place! :)

He he! OH, I am also going to get a great pic of myself to show you all how much weight I have lost! I plan on doing that this week! I am so excited for all of you guys to see this pic! I will talk to you later!

Michelle 03-29-2009

Another Small Step

So I have to post this! I WAS SO STOKED LAST THURSDAY! Shilo and I do my measurements every 4th workout. Normally this means once a week. I try to get down to Kody's and workout with her 4 times every week.

I know this isn't for everyone but it is for me. The reason why, is because then I do it! I have such a busy life and lead such a hectic lifestyle that I simply can not trust myself to workout as hard as I should being at home alone! I do get my cardio in, but even that I don't work as hard as I know I should! It is just really easy to say "15 minutes running on the treadmill is better than nothing, right? Even though I know I should be 20 or actually 30 minutes of straight running!"

Yes, I am a slacker...well not really, but in that aspect of my life, I am! I am a very type A personality and I have decided that I am going to clean the floors with my two companions. Which means I am going to take full advantage of Shilo being mean to me and forcing me to do the one more set of calf raises at 210 lbs, even though I truly thought at the time my calves were going to rip my achilles tendon right off of my calcanus bone! (YES, I HAVE DONE IT. 4 sets of 25 to be exact! Go try it, it is not easy!) I want Shilo to tell me to watch my salt! I get pissed, sure, but I also know that she is right and I am wrong, because guess who is fat and who is not! (if you haven't seen our cutie Shilo, then log onto The Edge Magazine website and look on the Healthy Edge Link or check out the March Issue ot the magazine)

I want this because I want to win! Not just so I can rub it in Christine and Jenn's face, but because I am really starting to feel the difference in my life! I can get up easier in the morning! I am sleeping better at night. I can go through the day without thinking I need a caffiene IV at 3 pm or a nap just in order to get up the enegery to make a not so healthy dinner for kids. I want to help inspire others to do this.

So, with that being said. I have been truly working out faithfully with Shilo for the last 5 weeks. Every week we can did my measurements, and every week, I saw hardly anything happening to the scale. I was losing inches though. Actually I lost nearly 6 inches in two weeks on my thighs alone. (I gaineds 2 lbs that week FYI!) So last Thurday, which was my birthday, We did measurements again. AND GUESS WHAT, I was done 5 lbs! Probably more because we weighed at 3 pm which is actually one of the worst times of the day to weigh yourself!

AND EVEN BETTER, I HAD LOST OVER 1% OF BODY FAT! I was down to 223 from 246! WHICH MEANS I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 23 LBS SO FAR!

I am not going to lie, it was hard and I even had a couple of times where I broke down with Shilo and told her I was really scared it wasn't going to happen and so why should I even bother trying. Well she gave me my moment to feel bad and then she told me pity time was over and that we needed to get back to work.

I did! I got back to work and it seems like every sinlge time I go in and work out, I am beating a personal best. I still have a long ways to go, but I have nearly reached my first goal which was to be to 220 by the end of the first quarter.

Well, I have 1 and 1/2 weeks left in this quarter and I am going to make it happen. Because this would just be another small step in reaching my really big goal!

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! I love hearing from you guys.

Talk to you soon

Michelle 03-19-2009

March Madness

I love those words..."MARCH MADNESS". Not because I follow College basketball or anything but because March seems to be a month that is just filled with the madness that is our lives!

So it has been a little while since I blogged and I apologize for that. I have discovered that blogging is like all other "good" habits a person might have...YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT! LOL!

Well I am REALLY excited to announce that I have nearly completed my first full session with Shilo. I don't think session is the right word but it basically means that I will have completed 16 full work outs with her. Thursday was supposed to be the day (tomorrow) but I had a little bit of an unexpected distraction today and so I didn't get to go and work out and I wont lie, it mad me REALLY CRANKY!

My workouts with Shilo are beginning to become a fix for me. If I have an appt and I have to miss or reschedule, it really pisses me off. I am sure that sounds funny to you! It sounded to funny to myself when I first thought it, but it is so true.

So I will go and see her tomorrow and then again on Fri AND THEN....(drumroll please)....Shilo will give me full stats as to what I have lost pound, inch, and body fat percentage wise! I know I have not lost a ton of weight (YET!) but I do know that in this last month I have lost a lot of inches overall so I am excited to see the results. I will post them as soon as I get them from her!

So for now, I will sign off and say good night! I have to go and help my son set-up for district history fair in the morning. He took first place here in Neola! AND THEN...I am going to work out with SHILO!!! My torturer as I fondly call her! :)

Talk to you soon!
Michelle 3-11-2009

I'M DONE!

AAAHHH, It is the end of layout and I am DONE! :)

Ok, so just done with getting the March issue put to bed. THANK GOODNESS! It is is funny because people really have no idea how complicated is can be to put this magazine together each month. Pleas do not mistake, I am NOT complaining, it can just get really intense!

SO, Shilo makes me HURT!!! I am STILL SORE from my Tuesday work out with her. OK, before I get in too much trouble with those guys down at Kody's I did work out 4 days already this week and I am planning on working out tomorrow as well! SO, that would give me 5 workouts this week even if only 2 of them have been down at Kody's thus far.

Layout is really stressful. It is not for the reason people think however! Ya, it is hard getting everything put together and designed and etc. The hard part is the fact that you must be willing to fore go EVERYTHING in order to be near your computer. And it doesn't end until we get the full thumbs up from the printer that their printer is satisfied with the files that we sent to them.

So for instance today I was totally planning on going down to see Shilo today at the gym at 1 PM and then I get a call at about 12 PM from sweet little Denise (WE STILL LOVE YA THOUGH!) saying there was a glitch in one of the files we burnt on the CD and that we needed to get them another copy. Well, that means I drop EVERYTHING and get another file exported and saved in the proper format and then burnt onto a disk and whisked over to Vernal ASAP. the longer we take, then the longer it could be before the magazine is delivered to us and ultimately to you.

See my dilemma? The wonderful thing is that it only happens once a month and now next week, I can start over in my routine again and that means my 1 PM appt with Shilo daily! YEAH! Oh wait, UGH! Like I said, I am still sore in my calf muscles! :( But at least I can finally run without hobbling! LOL!!! For that I am happy.

Well off to another task, oh, I guess I should mention though that I lost another inch in my waistline last week! And that is considering I was suffering from womanly ailments if you get me drift! THAT IS AWESOME!! Well, Talk to you later!!!

Michelle 2-20-2009

Bitter Days and Better Days

Ok, so I guess one REALLY important factor that I should share with everyone is that I suffer from I guess what they would call clinical depression. Not very proud to say it. Not very excited to have the world know all of my little secrets and quirks, BUT i guess if we are going to lay it all out there then it is important for people to understand EXACTLY where I am coming from.

So I am not sharing this to get anyone's empathy or sympathy or even to give people ammunition against me (of course that part is inevitable) but I share it because a person's mood is a REALLY big part of why they eat and why they do (or do not) exercise.

I have stated before that I am an emotional eater and I have found that the more depressed I become (thus my current funk) the more I eat and the more I self loath. The more I eat and the more I self loath, ultimately the less I go to the gym and do not exercise.

Now it has been awhile since I had a really bad bout with depression (no, I am not medicated) and I had it hit me REALLY bad about 3 weeks ago. Well I was finding ways of coping with it because I have spent MANY hours with a therapist who has helped me to learn the causes of my depression and how to avoid the pitfalls, when I had a VERY hectic week last week and I did not get into Kody's to work out. When I began to miss my workouts, this is when I found myself spiraling into the nastiness of my depression. It is a pretty crappy place. It involves A LOT of crying, a lot of anger, a lot of food, well you get the picture.

Yesterday I had Jenn send me a text saying basically "Get your A@@ back in there and see Cliff and Kitty!" So I did. The funny thing was as I was walking in the door I began to cry even then because my emotions were just bubbling over and not in a good way. I got myself under control (my biggest fear is looking out of control! HA!) and I walked in and Shilo waved at me. Shilo has taken over training for us because Carl got called back to Provo on a family emergency. I hesitantly waved and smiled back and went and got changed. I had been working that morning which is REALLY hard to do when you feel terrible emotionally and I needed to put my workout clothes on.

After I changed, I went over to Shilo, who was helping another gentleman, and she asks me "you ready for me to kick your butt today?" Shilo is awesome! I smiled and replied "yes" and so she told me to go warm up on the treadmill because she was going to be about 15 minutes with gentleman she was already working with.

I jumped on the treadmill and started running and the more I ran, the better I felt. It was different though because I had been running at home the week before but this just felt different in my mind. Don't ask me why. I can not explain the reasoning behind it, all I know is that FOR ME, I needed to know that someone, besides me, cared!

So the whole reason for this story is let people know that the reason we have started this Healthy Edge is not just for the competition side of things, BUT FOR THE COMPANIONSHIP! We truly are trying to create a community for those who are wanting make a POSITIVE change in their lives. IT WILL NOT BE EASY!!! If I had not had Jenn tell me people missed me, if I had not had Shilo care enough to "kick my butt" :) then I would have more than likely surrendered myself to my depression. It truly takes support to do this. A lifestyle change IS NOT EASY! It takes LOTS of work and you will see success and you WILL SEE FAILURE! I do not say this to be mean but to let people know the reality of the situation. Anyone can do anything for a short period of time, BUT only those who a good support team can make a change on a permanent level. It is those who have had the chance to taste failure that will truly know what it is like to succeed and make a true change in their lives.

I hope this helps you! AND I AM GOING TO WORKOUT AGAIN TODAY! Man, I am so sore from yesterday, GOOD JOB SHILO!

Michelle 2-12-2009

Finky Funks

Ok so about a month Christine was in a funk....

Well now I am! :) I am sure you can tell since I am doing a horrendous job of actually blogging. Mostly it is because of the stress of work. Yes, it is TONS of work to pull off this magazine each month.

I gained two pounds last month so I am going on the pill called phentermine. Dr. Shurtlef prescribed it for me. He said it is also supposed to help with the whole fatigue thing. I know, I know...TONS of people think taking pills is wrong, BUT i am so desperate to lose the weight, I will try anything once!

Gotta go...MORE WORK AND WAY MORE STRESS! lol

LIFE

HOLY COW! This is crazy! I am so sorry that I have not written for so long. I have been so crazy with work and just life in general that I have not been able to get a new post on my Healthy Edge blog!

Things have been going good. I have not lost anymore weight, but I know that I am down inches again.

I am trying to be positive about the not losing weight thing. It is quite frustrating, but at the same time, I was counseled to simply rejoice in all my successes, no matter how big or small.

This is where I am hitting a plateau and so it is time to switch it up. I am going to go and see Dr. Shurtliff tomorrow and I am going to see about switching up my exercise routine and see if I can break this plateau that I have hit.

I think I can...

I think I can...

I think I can...

:) I know, I am funny...LOOKING THAT IS! HA HA HA!! Ok, well I am going to go! I have to run Shyanne to dance and also get a few more sales appts in for the magazine. Wish me luck!

Michelle 2-4-2009

Actions and Choices

"The most decisive actions of our life ... are most often unconsidered actions." -Andre Gide

I thought that this quote was so true no matter what the circumstances are in your life. Losing weight, relationships, career choices, etc; your unconsidered actions are normally what mold your life. Like tonight when I was eating dinner with my husband, I just kept eating and eating and eating, even though I was full. I did not even realize what I was doing!

Well, I finally pushed my plate away and told Seth "NO MORE FOR ME!"

Some unconscious and unconsidered actions are what have caused me to become the overweight person that I am now. This is truly a lifestyle change for me, not just a "diet" and because I am changing my lifestyle, it is not always going to be easy!

One day at time! that is all I can say!

I am in my wranglers though! YEAH! I am losing the weight and going down in inches and lbs. I am just wishing I was seeing it happen faster! :)

Michelle 1-24-2009

Success

"Some people have funny ideas about success. They think that successful people never suffer defeats or discouragement or setbacks. They equate success with some make-believe perfect life in which nothing ever goes wrong. Well, how naive, how totally and completely unrealistic if we are vainly searching for the classic fairy-tale ending "and they lived happily ever after." But success is a progressive realization of worthwhile, predetermined personal goals and a very different thing from the Mother Goose concept of perpetual bliss. Success in everybody's life requires conflict, problems, challenges, roadblocks and occasional failure in order that the reached goal may be satisfying and rewarding and self-fulfilling. Sometimes it is the knowledge of the bitter taste of defeat that makes winning so exhilarating. It is overcoming, a genuine test of courage, strength, ability, endurance, perseverance and belief that strengthens us and makes us proud of our accomplishments...Sometimes we are prone to see and hear and read about successful people without ever realizing that they first had to overcome adversity to earn what they have. The lives of most famous people bear the scars of obstacles and conflicts and struggles. . Successful people have earned their spot in life, just as you must earn yours. So if you are thinking of all the obstacles and roadblocks that you have and thinking that other people did not have them, erase this from your mind. It is not true. They, too, have overcome insurmountable obstacles to attain the success that they enjoy today." Mary Kay Ash Speech Topic Book

My Saturday Workout!

He He! This is how I got my workout on Sat! I will admit I played hookie from work on Sat because I needed to get out on my new mare! (I STILL HAVEN'T NAMED HER!) She is so awesome! She is VERY tall so it is kinda of funny to watch my fat butt try to mount her. ALTHOUGH, when I am not wearing my bibs I am able to do it without to much struggle! THANKS CARL!!! It is because I am getting stronger and losing weight that I was able to get on her! She is SSSSOOOO AWESOME! She is going to be a runner which I love! There is really nothing better in the entire world then having a horse sit underneath you running at top speed. It is really hard to explain. You can literally feel their muscles bunch and relax as they stretch their stride and run faster and faster at your urging. She has an amazing gait and is almost a prancer! For you non-horsemen, this simply means the style in which she walks. Some horses are just jerky when they walk but she is smooth as silk and is even better when she runs. PLUS, SHE IS SO FAST!!! I want to take her down to the rodeo arena so I can really open her up without fear of a twisted ankle or broken leg because of hitting a hole we don't see in this snow! But yes, it is a workout to ride horses, at least if you like to run! :)

Here I am carrying Pedro! OF COURSE I TOOK PEDRO! He is my puppy after all! Actually he did walk most of the way but when he got tired then I carried him which was kind of tricky! AND MAN MY ARMS GOT TIRED! He wieghs about 6 lbs but when you are carrying 6 lbs, in a crooked arm while trying to steer your horse with the other, it is not the easy and I AM SORE THIS MORNING FROM DOING IT! OH and before comments are made about how fat I look, I AM WEARING INSULATED BIBS and they are big on me so I look HUGE in these pictures. Granted, I am not small but I have lost weight! :)

Here I am bringing her to a stop after running her! It was cool because she jumped over a little ravine and then Seth told me to run back towards him so he could take my picture and this is one we got! AND YES I AM SMILING!! (while I am saying "Whoa!"). THIS IS WHY I AM LOSING WEIGHT!!! I LOVE TO DO THIS STUFF AND I WANT TO MAKE SURE I CAN FOR A LONG, LONG, LONG TIME!!!!

Here are my awesome riding companions! My gorgeous husband Seth and my beautiful little girl Shyanne!

Michelle 1-18-2009

It Must Be a Tuesday!

LOL!! SO I hate Tuesday! Ok, not really but Tuesdays are always SO busy! Not just for work, but also for the stuff the kids and I do. From 3:00 PM until 8:00 PM we are down in town running them around to a few of their after school activities. My kids do art, dance, and tumbling and I am so glad!

Here is the problem...
because we are in town so much, we end up eating in town and YES, I caved today and ate 2, just count them 2 Arby's Melts. I am sure they are like 5 million calories each, but I was hungry and tired! I have found that the more tired I am, the more I eat. Have any of you noticed that before?

I am sure that means I should go to bed earlier. LOL!!! I laugh about it, BUT it is only because anyone who has ever been a parent or tried to build a business from the ground up will understand my fatigue! Even better yet, if you have ever done both like Christine, Jenn and I are doing, then you will REALLY understand it! BUT, this also means that sometimes I miss my appt with Carl.

I AM SO SORRY CARL!!! I had a meeting come up and it was one of those important ones because it had to do with my kids!

OH WELL...I am constantly telling myself this...

"Short term sacrifices for long term gains!"

This simply means that I must do the stuff that is a pain in the butt for a little while, just so we can get to the point where we can begin to enjoy the fruits of our labors. The day will come and I will be able to fit into the those "skinny" jeans! I am going to see Carl tomorrow. I am not giving up. I did get in 4 sessions with Carl last week and that doesn't count the stuff I did on my own. I am getting there.

I am nervous because Jenn and I were talking today about trying on and fitting into some of our jeans that we keep buried in the back of our closets. I told her that I had lost enough weight that I was considering trying some of mine on, but I am SSSOOO nervous and scared that I don't want to. LOL!!! I just don't want to find out that I am still to fat to put them on.

Oh well, I will just have to pull up my panty hose and be a big girl, huh?

Talk to you tomorrow!

Michelle 1-14-2008

SO COOL!!

Ok, so today I had the funnest thing happen to me today! I was going to pick up my son Garrison from pre school down in town (actually, I never left town from dropping him at at school because I had worked out before hand and was trying to save some "dough" on gas money! It is a 24 mile round trip from house to town and back) Well, school was over for Garrison and I went to the door to get him from his teacher and I was in my nasty, sweaty work out clothes and as I was walking up to the door, I had several people say that they had seen our "Healthy Edge" stuff!!!! I was so excited!

First of all, we have to magazines out with the WAY awesome profiles on each of us, Christine, Jenn, and I. Then we have that great write up on what "The Healthy Edge" is all about! Well we were so excited (Jenn and I) when we walked into Kody's Fitness Center this morning to work out with Carl AND our articles and profiles were posted all over! IT WAS SO COOL!!! THANKS KITTY AND CLIFF!!!

So because of the magazine write up AND the stuff at Kody's I had 3, yes that is correct 3, people ask me about it and how I was doing!!!! HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!!

Then last week I had a girl on the elliptical machine by me who said she was working out at the gym because she had seen our blogs and decided to come down to the gym and sign up and get fit with us! I AM SO EXCITED!!! I really wasn't sure how people would react to all of this, but I am seriously SO overwhelmed at the positive response we have gotten from everyone. THANKS!!! I love getting your emails and your blog comments, and your letters, and your phone calls! I even got a fax once! THANKS YOU GUYS!!! We hope you keep this up with us for the next year and we will see where this contest will take us!

Michelle 1-12-2009

LONG WEEK!

hehe! Ok so it has been a few days since I wrote, BUT it is because this last week was VERY busy. We got the magazines in late, which yes, we were all just a LITTLE stressed over here about, BUT we managed and we did not gain any weight. So I was busy doing deliveries and sending out subscriptions and all of that fun stuff. THEN on top of it all, I got to go in and see Dr. Shurtliff this last week.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I WEIGHED IN AT?

WELL....

DO YA...

THIS IS SO COOL!

I weighed in at 231.some other #. YEAH!!!!! So the first time I went and I say Dr. Shurtliff, was only 2 months ago and I weighed 246. some #. I made it through the holidays with the help of Carl and the girls without gaining ANY weight at all. Then on top of it, I find out that I actually lost 15 lbs according to the doc's scale. I do want to say this also though, the VERY first I weighed myself was about 2 weeks before I go to go and see the doc and it was on my mom and dad's scale. Well, if you have read my other blogs then you will remember this scale is not too reliable because it said I weighed like 6 lbs less then I actually did. BUT when I did weigh myself on it the first time, it read 250 lbs. So I am going to say I have lost nearly 20 lbs since the very, very beginning of this contest. Oh, I won't say that i have not had some slip-ups with food and such, BUT I have been trying really hard and everyone at The Edge Christmas party last night (yes we had it last night...better late then never right?) said that they could tell I have lost weight.

YEAH!!! That made me so happy. I can tell they have lost weight too though! We all are looking REALLY good right now Not as good as what we want to be, but considering we just went through the holidays, I am really impressed with how this is turning out!

Dr. Shurtliff just kept saying how proud he was of me. It really made me feel good to hear that from him because I have been working REALLY hard at this!

Well, I am going to go for now, haven't been to bed before 2 AM this whole last week because of work so I am going to hit the hay early tonight so I am ready to hit the ground running tomorrow. Thanks for your support and talk to you later!

Michelle 1-11-2009

MOTIVATIONAL THOUGHTS! - "A NEW DAY"

I have had this card which I got from a friend of mine literally years ago! Roy Murray used to have a car sales business here in town and he had the most amazing "thought" on the back of his business cards and I have kept this card taped to my computer desk for probably 9 years now. I wanted to share it with you! I LOVE IT!

A NEW DAY

This is the beginning of a new day.
I have been given this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.

WHAT I DO TODAY IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE I AM EXCHANGING A DAY OF MY LIFE FOR IT.

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone
forever leaving in it's place whatever I traded for it.
I pledge to myself that it shall be...

GAIN, NOT LOSS;
GOOD, NOT EVIL;
SUCCESS, NOT FAILURE,

In order that I shall not regret
this price I have paid for this day!

I DID IT!

YEAH! What did I tell you guys about Mondays? I LOVE THEM!! Especially when I get to go down to Kody's and make it through my workout!

Actually I have to brag on Jenn a moment because she was feeling icky with that wonderful gift mother nature grants us women each month...yes...you know what I am talking about so please DON'T ask me to spell it out for you! And she still totally kicked my a@& at the weights! AAAHHHH!!! I am going nuts! :) I am just only a LITTLE competitive if you haven't noticed!

No seriously! She really did do awesome and I mean she had cramps so bad she would have to stop for a second and take a breather and SHE STILL DID BETTER THEN ME! I was kinda hoping I might beat her today, BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT!

THAT'S OK! I figure if I have to lose, then I want it to be to her or Christine because they both work so hard and are both doing so awesome with this whole fitness thing. I am getting better each week though. I have to admit that I love getting to work out with either one of them because I feel like I push myself that much harder and I don't allow myself to slack. We were doing some pull down thingies with this rope on the weight machine and it was heavier then Carl and I normally do for me and it was so cool because Jenn was right there cheering me on! I LOVE IT! THANKS!!!

So I made it back after a not so hot weekend last week and I am glad. There is always a bright side to being sick though Carl told me...YOU NORMALLY LOSE WEIGHT!!! :) I think I did, in fact I might sneak a peek at my weight on the scale tomorrow when I go back down!

I will keep you guys posted! ha ha...get it...POSTED!

NIGHT!

Michelle 1-5-2009

Sick and Tired

So Carl sent me home early today. I almost cried! I was so sad. I went down at 9 AM this morning to work out and I wanted to make sure I got this workout in because I missed my workout on Wednesday.

I didn't want to miss it, in fact I really tried hard to get there but to be honest I just felt plain POOPY! I am not sure if I got the flu or if I just am feeling blue about the holidays or if it is because I am still struggling with the suicide of a young lady I know who lives by me, but I have been sick to my stomach.

I know that "they" say that you should go and work out when you are not feeling good because it will help you to feel better and so that is why I decided to try to push through and just do it this morning.

Well I barely made it through my workout on the stair climber today and normally it wouldn't even be that hard. Then he had me go out and try to do some arms work. Well we start the first set and he gives me 60 lbs which is what I did with it that last time and I ABOUT DIED! Seriously. There was no pushing through and still making it, I mean I literally got stuck and no matter how hard I tried to push, I could not get my arms to move. It was a bit disturbing to me.

Carl tells me "Why don't you go home and just rest? I can tell you aren't feeling good." HOW SAD! I was sad. I didn't want to go home early. THAT SUCKS! He told me that we will do it again on Monday and for me to get some rest. I hope he is right.

I have been through the depression thing BIG TIME and I DO NOT want to go there again. I am more afraid that is it that then anything else, SO I am going to read some books and veg with my kids and if I feel good enough, go and play with my horses! I WANT TO GET BETTER!

Michelle 1-2-2009

A Brand New Year!

Ok, Ok, so I realize that it is not officially the "New Year" yet, BUT for me it is the beginning of MY New Year!

Jenn and I went and worked out with Carl today. (You have to read her blog! It is a great story!) AND I got to weigh in. Well, I was a little disappointed but then I had to take it all into perspective and I realized that I am still doing good!

So the last time Carl and I weighed, I was down to 238.5 lbs. When I weighed today, I was 237.75 lbs. I am sure that for some of you it sounds dumb to even worry about 3/4 of a lbs. BUT HEY, IT IS WEIGHT THAT I LOST DURING THE CHRISTMAS BREAK!

I mean we had homemade caramel! (Seth makes to die for caramel!) LOTS of candy and cookies and pies at my parent's house, PLUS meats like ham (BAD) and prime rib (EVEN BADDER!). Yes, I know "badder" isn't a word!

I was just excited that I lost a little something and that I did not gain. I watched a thing on TV last night and they were talking about how something like 95% of Americans GAIN weight over the holidays. So I guess if nothing else I can say that once again I am going against the grain and not acting like everyone else! :)

I figure that if I just pretend that this is January 1st then I am done with my sweets and goodies and I can get down to the business of getting fit! I am serious when I say that I am not going to back down from this challenage! I know that Christine and Jennifer are serious about this too! I was WAY proud of Jenn today! We were both dying of heat exhaustion today and even when Jenn was hit with a wave of nausea, SHE CAME BACK AND FINISHED WHAT SHE STARTED!!!

Plus, I decided that I can't go and lift with Jenn anymore! She outlifted me and I just can't handle that! :) I AM SO KIDDING! She really did kick butt today! I am SSSSSOOOOO proud of her!

Tomorrow we go back and see Carl again! I can't wait! :/ I will survive though!

Michelle 12-29-2008

Play Time is Over!

AAAHHH!

So, I got a text tonight from Carl! It was at about 8:30 PM and it said, "Ladies, what time tomorrow?"

How Sweet! LOL!!! I won't lie, I was totally planning on going tomorrow anyways, in fact, Jenn and I were already making plans to be there at 9 AM tomorrow so that we could get a workout in before my dentist appt!

Call me crazy, but I m actually looking forward to the workout! I think since I have been working with Dr. Shurtlif on my thyriod issues, I am FINALLY after all these many years beginning to understand the "rush" that Christine talks about when she says she gets a rush from working out!

THANK GOODNESS! I am excited to weigh myself and see where I am standing weight wise after these long weeks of holiday goodies! I HAVE DONE NOT TO BAD! :) I think I will have still lost weight, but tomorrow we will find out for sure!

I will let you know! Talk to you later and GOOD NIGHT! 6 AM comes early when your up this late!

Michelle 12-28-2008

What Christmas Presents Really Mean!

YEAH!!! I got to go and pick-up my Christmas presents today!

To start off with I had to go and get another load of hay for our horses. It wasn't a ton of hay! (hehe for those of us feeding animals right now you know that this is kind of a joke since we usually do buy hay by the ton!) It was about 35 bales in the back of our truck.these are the smaller 50lbs bales so not overly heavy BUT heavy enough that after throwing the first 15 of them up into the back of the truck to my husband I was breathing hard! It was good! I am not complaining because it is just one more way to get exercise into my life. I told Seth, my husband, that it wasn't the hay that was so bad, it was the fact that we were wading through about a foot of snow in our insulated bibs and snow packers!

After we loaded the hay then we had to take it back to our house and get it unloaded and stacked neatly so that the horses can't get into it and eat it all before we feed it out to them!

THEN CAME THE COOL PART....

I got to go and pick up my Christmas presents! Any guesses what my husband got me? I will give you a hint, it has to do with the hay we went and got! :)

YOU GOT IT RIGHT!!! I GOT TWO NEW HORSES!!! That gives us a total of 6 that we now own and I am so excited! One is a younger dun colored mare who is broke and we have been told does really well in the mountains! The other is a gorgeous paint gelding with some very unusual markings on his belly and legs! He is not broke to ride at this moment, so now I have one more horse we need to break! Seth and I also own his sister who have been working with and who we now have green broke and she is only about 22 months old. She is good and we have been told he is even better because of how much more calm he is then her so I am excited to see how he does!

These two horses were in the fields up here in Hayden where Roosevelt City has its water well. We had to go and catch them up which was a fun challenge within itself because they had no clue who we were and while they really wanted the bucket of grain I had (I was trying to bribe them!) they weren't going to let me get close enough to get that lead rope around their neck! Keep in mind I am in my snow packers and insulated bibs which weigh a person down quite a loy anyways and here I am running around through the fields and ditches in about a foot of snow trying to get the horses to calm down and let me catch them.

It was kinda funny because I had to work with them for about an hour before I could get them both caught up and even then Seth and I had to traipse all over hell and back to get them caught up. I was laughing inside because I thought, "if Carl could only see me now!" It was a testament to me though about why it is so important to be in better shape!

I was glad that I have been working on getting in shape the way I have been these last 6 weeks as it is! I know I would have been able to do it even before I started losing weight and getting back into shape, HOWEVER, I would have gone home and DIED! I would have done nothing for a week after doing everything I did today because it would of fatigued me that much.

I am glad that this is not what happened to me today! I came home and while I will admit that I layed in bed for abouot an hour after we got home, it was more because I was freezing to death and was trying to get warm not because I was exhausted! I also took down my Christmas tree today which was no small feat seeing as our tree was over 10 feet tall and fully decorated. Plus I did laundry, cooked some meals, cleaned up the house, AND worked on some presents for my kids to give their friends next week. My whole point of this story is to say that being fit allows a person to do so much more on a daily basis! I am so glad that I am able to fulfill so many tasks that make up my life as mom, wife, and business owner!

AND TODAY it all started with my Christmas presents!

Michelle 12-27-2008

HOLIDAYS!

YEAH!!! So how was your Christmas?

MINE...was so much fun! I love being able to spoil my kids. Granted this year was a bit tighter then normal just because of the economy, BUT it was still really good! I must say that I was really excited because it looks like I STILL LOST WEIGHT!

I saw Carl on Mon but then with the holidays I havent been down to the gym since then. BUT, I have still been watching what I eat. (yesterday I splurged a little bit because I ate some cake and some candy!) Ok, so I splurged a little today because I ate a couple of extra hot wings at lunch!

I am not sure what I weigh, BUT I am excited to get back to the gym with Carl and to really start off this New Year the right way!

Michelle 12-26-2008

NO MU-MUS FOR ME!!

SO...

Today was weigh in day! AND GUESS WHAT....

I LOST FIVE AND HALF MORE POUNDS!!!

YA! Now according to Carl's scale, I weigh 238.5! I am so excited! Actually the big deal is that I got a shirt on today that I have not been able to get around my belly to button up ever since I bought it!

I am horrible that way! I have probably somewhere in the thousands of dollars worth of clothes in my closet or packed away that I keep telling myself, "One day..."

The reason why I do this is because they simply do not have cute fat girl clothes. I am sorry, but they don't! The shirt tails are ALWAYS to short, the chest area is never big enough to accommodate what God gave me in the bra department. It is ridiculous!

I DON'T WANT TO WEAR A MU-MU FOR CHURCH!!!

In all seriousness, I mean I do realize that the front cover of Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition will never be for me. I have had several major ligaments torn in my abdomen due to my beautiful children and only a good Doctor will ever fix that, HOWEVER....I can still lose enough weight to look hot in all of the beautiful clothes I have bought over the years but leave hanging in the back of my closet or in a box someplace downstairs!

IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

IT IS HAPPENING!!

I RAN FOR 25 MINUTES YESTERDAY AND I DIDN'T DIE! Trust me, I thought I was, but I didn't! And I even told Carl that he was going to have to catch me so I didn't fly off the back of the treadmill because I was so TIRED! But I did it!

And he worked me just as hard today and I go back and see him again on Friday!

Seriously you guys! I love the fact that Carl doesn't let me say "NO"! If I start complaining then he tells me, "Where's Your Power?" or "AAAAHHHH". (smart ass anyways!) :) I am so glad though because I know for a fact I would not have done what I have in this contest thus far if it were not for the help of Carl, Dr. Shurtleff, and my friends and family!

I don't have such great will power when it is just me, but I will work really hard to please! AND now that those AWFUL pics are out there for the whole world to see, I GOTTA CHANGE HOW I LOOK RIGHT?

oh and by the way! I AM SO THE WINNER AT NO DIET COKE!!! :) Bow down and worship me girls! (that means you, Jennifer and Christine!) It has been how long now, I don't know, like a month and I seriously think, that this is the only reason that I am able to do the running I am doing right now.

OH AND GET THIS, (yes, it is my blog so I get to brag about myself a little!) WHEN I AM DOING MY RUNNING, it is on 3.5 incline in the treadmill and at 4.5 speed. I am not sure what the incline is equivalent to, but the 4.5 speed means 4.5 miles per hour! YESTERDAY, I did a 13 minute and 27 second mile! I am sure for some that is lame, BUT considering about a month ago I couldn't even do 30 seconds without about passing out...I AM HAPPY! I will admit that I used to run cross country in High School and at the time, I was able to run a 7 min mile. Once I even got down into the 6 minute range. MAN, that seems SO fast compared to what I am doing now but at least I know I can do it right!

Well, I am going to head to bed! I am sore and VERY tired! I have spent the last 3 or 4 nights up VERY late working on the layout and I am DEAD! It has been an awesome week for both exercise and the magazine and we are all so excited to see what happens this next year!

Later

Michelle 12-17-2008

Mondays...UGH~

Ok, So a while ago I said that I loved Mondays, and I still do, except for the fact that Mondays are now my....(GASP!)...dreaded weighing in day with Carl! UGH!

Actually, I feel really bad because I didn't get to go and work out with Carl today. After a meeting I had this morning, my 4 year-old started to not just complain, but cry profusely that his ear was hurting. I knew that there was no way I could feel good about me dragging him to the gym and working out with him being in such pain. That is not what a good mom does.

Instead I went home and got him settled into watching a movie and then I set about the (GASP!) wonderful task of cleaning my office. Ok so I will admit that I am not a dirty person, but I am a cluttered person. I am a classic stacker! I can have piles and piles and piles of paper and for the most part, I know where things are. Most of it is my fault because I simply need to get better organizational tools, like filing cabinets and book case and a bigger desk, but the other part of it is that I am a procrastinator and I will wait until the last minute on somethings when I really shouldn't! BUT, at least my going through stacks of paper and organizing things was productive and NOT eating candy. (today was stressful at work!)

BUT GUESS WHAT!!! I am going in tomorrow to work out with Carl and then again on Wed and hopefully Thursday too! I am doing SSSSOOOO good at avoiding those Christmas treats and I can not wait to see what to see how much weight I am hopefuly gonna lose!

WISH ME LUCK YOU GUYS!!! I am nervous and scared, but I am hoping that I get to see those numbers go DOWN!!!

YEAH!!!