The Choices We Make

I have to ask forgiveness especially during the month of April for not blogging more.  Between dance, tumbling, art, wrestling, magazine (and I do the work of about 5 normally paid positions for any other business!), working out, bathing and feeding kids, caring for my husband who just had knee surgery, the attempt on most nights to sleep, my own personal home work with college, my civic duties and my personal religious callings, ohm and when I can find the down time, an attempt at sleep....well you can tell April is HORRIBLE!  I call it my hell month because this is, for me at least, the very worst month of the year for being busy.  No, not even Christmas can hold a candle to end of the school things my kids and I are involved in.

 
 

Yes, I will admit, I must place the blame on myself for being SO busy, but at the same time, I am a firm believer in keeping my kids involved while they are younger (11, 8, and 5 years-old) so that when they are bigger, they will understand not only the value of work, but also how to use their time properly in order to accomplish things and how to more importantly prioritize things.

 
 

Learning how to prioritize is a really hard thing for people to learn.  It is DEFINITELY a learned skill.  Even I struggle with how to prioritize things in my life because I find it is REALLY easy to use this as an excuse to procrastinate or even to simply forego doing certain things.

 
 

It sucks when work pulls me away from my family.  But as an adult, I have to simply grin and bear it sometimes because that is the responsible thing to do.  On the other side of that coin however is the argument of taking care of one's self properly!

 
 

Learning how to maintain a balance in one's life is skill that is difficult to master for I feel that so many of us are also bound by our emotions and desires to please others and gain their acceptance.  How many times have you been asked to do something AND SAID YES, even though you really didn't want to do it?

 
 

I know I have.  Learning to say no is another skill that fits in with the ability to properly balance your life and prioritizing your chosen activities.

 
 

I had my sister call me tonight and ask me to go running.  I wanted to say yes SSSSOOOO badly, but I also knew that I had a commitment to the magazine to post the featured photo of the week on our website, just like I have the responsibility to run a load of laundry so my children and I can have clean clothes to wear tomorrow, just like I need to get the table cleared off and the dishes ran tonight, just like I needed to finish my last 2 assignments for this Spring semester of college, just like I needed to stop and just RELAX for a few moments because my body is screaming in pain at me because of my PMS cramps!

 
 

Do you see my point?

 
 

None of those activities I listed above are any less important than the next BUT how do I chose what to do?

 
 

Well for me, I have come to realize that there will be times that my life is simply NOT BALANCED!

 
 

Oh my goodness, did I say it?  Yes, I did!  I said it!  MY LIFE WILL NOT ALWAYS BE BALANCED AND WILL HAVE TO SAY NO OCCASIONALLY TO BOTH THINGS I REALLY WANT TO DO AND THINGS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DO (even if I feel a obligation to do it anyways!).

 
 

And why do I know that my life will not always be balanced, well it is because of one of my favorite quotes in the whole world:

 
 

"Short Term Sacrifices for a Long Term Gain!"

 
 

I learned this saying when I was a director with Mary Kay Cosmetics years ago.  Yes, I did sell Mary Kay and I was quite successful at it.  However there reached a time in my life when I needed to transition onto something else so that I could grow further into the woman I am meant to become.

 
 

The reason why I loved this quote so much is because it reminded that there are going to be days when my house is messy!  There are going to be days when I do not make it to the gym, or even out for a run with my sis!  There will be days when I have to forego that next chapter in my book, or a shooting expedition with my family, or even a weekend pheasant hunt because I need to do something else in order to try to make things better for me and my family!

 
 

So how do I know when to forego one activity for another, honestly, it is a case by case analysis.  Some days I will knock off work early and get my kids and tell them it is ok to skip dance and tumbling and hang out in front of the TV with me just for down time.  Some days, I will forego sleep in order to be able to deliver upon a commitment  I have to a client at work and I will stay up all night if I have to (YES, I have done it on more than one occasion!) in order to prepare a presentation for them that will hopefully meet or beat their expectations.  Some days, I will forego even a run if my body is so worn down that it is not functioning properly in order to avoid injury of both mind and body!

 
 

But then there are some days when I am on top of the world and everything clicks into place EXACTLY the way it should...I REALLY wish I had more of those days, but until then, I will be happy as I learn day by day to take care of myself so I am then able to be better at EVERY single other aspect of life and career.

 
 

Hopefully this makes sense to you.  Do not however use this as reason to NOT fulfill any obligations that you might have to others.  I do occasionally have to reschedule, BUT only if things are truly beyond my control.  I feel it is important to keep yourself busy for I truly do believe that "Idle Hands Are the Devil's Workshop!".  And it also has a tendency to allow you to pull yourself down into a place where it is hard to keep a positive mental attitude.

 
 

Your own mind is not only your greatest ally, but your deadliest weapon when it comes to self inflicted wounds.  Make sure you are feeding it what it needs to stay strong!

 
 

IF YOU THINK YOU, YOU CAN!!

 
 

Talk to you soon!

Michelle 4-19-2009

LIFE

HOLY COW! This is crazy! I am so sorry that I have not written for so long. I have been so crazy with work and just life in general that I have not been able to get a new post on my Healthy Edge blog!

Things have been going good. I have not lost anymore weight, but I know that I am down inches again.

I am trying to be positive about the not losing weight thing. It is quite frustrating, but at the same time, I was counseled to simply rejoice in all my successes, no matter how big or small.

This is where I am hitting a plateau and so it is time to switch it up. I am going to go and see Dr. Shurtliff tomorrow and I am going to see about switching up my exercise routine and see if I can break this plateau that I have hit.

I think I can...

I think I can...

I think I can...

:) I know, I am funny...LOOKING THAT IS! HA HA HA!! Ok, well I am going to go! I have to run Shyanne to dance and also get a few more sales appts in for the magazine. Wish me luck!

Michelle 2-4-2009

A Brand New Year!

Ok, Ok, so I realize that it is not officially the "New Year" yet, BUT for me it is the beginning of MY New Year!

Jenn and I went and worked out with Carl today. (You have to read her blog! It is a great story!) AND I got to weigh in. Well, I was a little disappointed but then I had to take it all into perspective and I realized that I am still doing good!

So the last time Carl and I weighed, I was down to 238.5 lbs. When I weighed today, I was 237.75 lbs. I am sure that for some of you it sounds dumb to even worry about 3/4 of a lbs. BUT HEY, IT IS WEIGHT THAT I LOST DURING THE CHRISTMAS BREAK!

I mean we had homemade caramel! (Seth makes to die for caramel!) LOTS of candy and cookies and pies at my parent's house, PLUS meats like ham (BAD) and prime rib (EVEN BADDER!). Yes, I know "badder" isn't a word!

I was just excited that I lost a little something and that I did not gain. I watched a thing on TV last night and they were talking about how something like 95% of Americans GAIN weight over the holidays. So I guess if nothing else I can say that once again I am going against the grain and not acting like everyone else! :)

I figure that if I just pretend that this is January 1st then I am done with my sweets and goodies and I can get down to the business of getting fit! I am serious when I say that I am not going to back down from this challenage! I know that Christine and Jennifer are serious about this too! I was WAY proud of Jenn today! We were both dying of heat exhaustion today and even when Jenn was hit with a wave of nausea, SHE CAME BACK AND FINISHED WHAT SHE STARTED!!!

Plus, I decided that I can't go and lift with Jenn anymore! She outlifted me and I just can't handle that! :) I AM SO KIDDING! She really did kick butt today! I am SSSSSOOOOO proud of her!

Tomorrow we go back and see Carl again! I can't wait! :/ I will survive though!

Michelle 12-29-2008

HOLIDAYS!

YEAH!!! So how was your Christmas?

MINE...was so much fun! I love being able to spoil my kids. Granted this year was a bit tighter then normal just because of the economy, BUT it was still really good! I must say that I was really excited because it looks like I STILL LOST WEIGHT!

I saw Carl on Mon but then with the holidays I havent been down to the gym since then. BUT, I have still been watching what I eat. (yesterday I splurged a little bit because I ate some cake and some candy!) Ok, so I splurged a little today because I ate a couple of extra hot wings at lunch!

I am not sure what I weigh, BUT I am excited to get back to the gym with Carl and to really start off this New Year the right way!

Michelle 12-26-2008

HERE THEY ARE!

AAAHHHH!!!! These are so scary, but here they are in all their not so shiny glory!

Ok so here are my starting stats as of the day these pics were taken which was Monday, November 24, 2008:
Weight: 246 lbs.
Height: 5' 7"
Waist: 48 inches
Hips: 50 inches
Bicep: 13 inches
Upper Thigh: 26 inches
Neck: 14.5 inches
Chest (under breasts): 42 inches
Overarm: 57 inches


Ok, So I am sure for many of you, there is some overwhelming feelings of yuckiness in your throat right now! AND BY ALL MEANS YOU SHOULD BE GROSSED OUT!

These pics are nasty and this is why I want to change my lifestyle! I AM NOT ON A DIET! I AM CHANGING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND WITH EXERCISE!! This is a very important thing to keep in mind. Carl told us that the word "diet" is off limits for us to say and I totally agree!

We need to remember that this is a change I want to make on a long term level. I mean I have committed the next 12 months MINIMUM to making this change and losing the weight. This is a true commitment on my part because I want to have more for my family and I by being healthy enough to not have to depend on caffeine for my energy.

I want to be able to go hiking with my kids, running and playing paintball with my kids, swimming with my kids! Do you know that I have not been to a public swimming pool in a bathing suit in over 10 years! No, I am not lying! And the reason why is
because I am so embarrassed about how I look and feel and my kids are getting old enough that they are picking up on my dislike of my own body.

This makes me think about the messages I am sending out to my kids. I make sure I keep my children VERY active in a lot of activities because I do not want them to develop the lazy habits that I have taken up. I want them to stay healthy and not increase their chance of heart disease and diabetes which runs in my family already! I want our family to develop a heritage of choosing to stay healthy and fit and not just luck into it. Most people who are thin are that way by choice.

You know it is more then just thin, it is healthy! I don't care if they are thin per say as long as they are healthy! I am not healthy at this point. Oh, I may have great cholesterol and blood pressure FOR NOW, but what about next year, or in 5 years, or in 10 years? What about then? With my weight like it is now, I am a ticking time bomb for any number of things to go wrong!

Sorry, not trying to preach! Everyone has their own reason for doing what they do and for me, FOOD was my comfort! I ate because I felt that this was all I was able to control in my life at times! I am beginning more then just a weight loss routine, I am on a journey of self discovery and for me that is the most important part! Oh, do not mistake, I still have issues with food and why I choose to eat the amounts that I do, BUT at least I am taking those steps to work it out AND CARL PARKER IS A HUGE PART OF THAT!!! Just like my nutrionist Joyce, and my doctor, Dr. Shaun Shertluff!!

I WANT TO BE THE BEST MOM AND WIFE I CAN POSSIBLY BE!!! And this is what will help me to do that! I look forward to sharing more with you all and PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS!! But please keep them positive ok! This was and is really hard for me to do...putting the pictures out that is! It is really scary and I know that I am not the fittest person you have ever seen which is why I am doing this and I can only hope that I am able to inspire some of you to live a more healthy lifestyle too!


Michelle 11-30-2008