Its a Brain Thing

OK!

So I have had several people comment to me that they thought I needed to talk more about what I am doing to lose weight. I will but let me say why I am so hyped up about the mental side of things.

Your mindset can make or break you! It sucks to admit that sometimes, but it is the truth! Whether you are positive about yourself, or negative about yourself, it will play a HUGE impact on how and what you can accomplish!

I have already told all of you that I have struggled with depression before. A lot of that depression was brought on by the physiological response my body had to being overweight. Extra pounds on your frame can cause things to shift in the chemical make-up of your brain. I swear it is true! I have researched this for myself and while I do not claim to be a medical professional I do stand beside this belief.

Because of this mental barrier that is already in place, it can make losing weight THAT MUCH HARDER!! I do not say this as a reason for you to give up what you are doing, but to encourage to strive for that goal that much more.

My husband and I were talking the other day and I shared with him a comment that someone had told me about myself. We were discussing how because of my tendency to hyperactivity, I intimate people at times. It is not that I mean too, but because I overcompensate my own insecurities with overconfidence! I told him that I had someone call me a "contradiction in terms!" He laughed for a moment and then proceeds to tell me that I am!

Let me explain. I am a type A personality which means I am very driven and motivated and I know what I want, BUT (and this is a big BUT!) I am a self saboteur! Within my own internal psyche I do not feel that I am good enough or worthy enough for what I am working so hard for or striving so diligently to obtain. I told you I was crazy, huh? :) Ok, Ok, you can quit giggling now!

So I have these two VASTLY different emotions rolling around within my head and my heart and it can cause a lot of internal turmoil that I have had to learn to control and master. I believe that to a certain extent, we all experience this same cycle of ups and downs. Especially us women who are blessed with these extra hormones meant for helping us to bear children. That is why I am such a big time talker on the mental side of your weight loss journey.

I have my weeks where I go down and I work out with Shilo and she just kills me! Then I come home and either run on my treadmill or run with my sister AND THEN I GO AND EAT THE ENTIRE CARTON OF MOOSE TRACKS ICE CREAM!!! (Yes, I hate to admit because it is REALLY embarrassing!) Talk about TOTALLY undoing all the hard work that I had just done.

This is the reason that I feel it is SO very, VERY important to have a support group around you. You need to have others to talk to about those emotions and feelings that you are experiencing because more than likely, THEY ARE TOTALLY NORMAL!!!

I just want you to take a deep breath and realize that tomorrow is a new day and YOU CAN ALWAYS START OVER! Blog with us if you are having a hard time with something. Come and feel the support of those in this area who want to see you succeed with your goals! I know I want to see you happy...the question is, DO YOU?

Michelle 4-30-2009

Leading A Horse To Water

"Leadership is not manifested by coercion, even against the resented. Greatness is not manifested by unlimited pragmatism, which places such a high premium on the end justifying any means and any measures." – Margaret Chase Smith

I have to start off by saying that I had something occur this week that had really had me very unsettled, well no, it actually had me really pissed and upset to think that someone would treat me like that! So much so that my nerves got the better of me and I was literally eaten up inside which caused me to get quite ill. I will not go into details about the issue, but it really got me thinking about how our actions influence those around us. This influence can be for both the negative and the positive. Although I will say that I feel like most of the time, it is for the negative.

I started to also really do some deep self reflection when I read an awesome blog by Andrea Nielson who is one the writers for me here at The Edge Magazine. She was talking about being humble and how when people have to constantly remind you of their greatness then they must not be so great after all. I must say, that I agree whole heartedly. If you are interested in reading more of it, then go and check her out at
http://andreaspersonaldebates.blogspot.com.

I have discovered during my lifetime that so many times we feel like we are acting or behaving in a certain way, when we are actually not and all those around us perceive what we are doing as completely opposite of what we meant it to be! The affects of our behavior can be either great or it can completely backfire and cause MUCH more harm than good. I know, I have had to eat A LOT of humble pie in the past and it sucks to have to apologize for my behavior.

I have found that sometimes it is really hard to be in the limelight with the job I perform here with the magazine, even though I absolutely love owning this magazine and getting to know the area and its people better! It is hard for me, however, to have people constantly call me out when they see me purchasing food that may not be so good for me, or if they read something in the magazine that they do not care for, or…well, I could definitely go on, but I am sure you get the point! The point is that so many times, being in a leadership position (and any business owner is!) I have discovered that it is just as important for me to be humble and grateful to ALL those around me, as it is to sometimes sell my accomplishments in order to allow people to see my value and worth. Being the "boss" or the leader normally means an even greater degree of sacrifice than anyone else around me. I have accepted this as my choice because it is! I am also a firm believer of NEVER asking someone to do something that I myself am not also willing to do. That is really hard sometimes too!

I have found though that more often than not, it is my willingness to treat others as my equals that has allowed me to be an effective leader. I feel so very blessed to have been able to work with the extraordinary people that I have in the past where I have been able to learn what it means to overcome, persevere and succeed, even when EVERY thing and EVERY one around you is telling you that you cannot. When I ask someone a question about their health or their family or anything that would normally be considered "polite" conversation, I am genuinely interested in knowing! I will openly admit that I put other's feelings and emotions before my own continually because I feel that I have reached a point in my life that I do not enjoy contention or mal-content. I am truly excited when others are excited about what they are doing, even if it is not always my favorite. I have learned that this is nothing more then simple and basic people skills, although for me, it is because I want to truly know what is important to others.

I enjoy how I feel, when I can walk away from someone and say to myself that I think that they were happy with their contact with me. I want people to benefit from their interaction with me, and not have it just be a one way street. I have been in situations in the past when I struggled with a "power-trip" complex and it was miserable! I was constantly on the defensive, I was always thinking people were trying to take advantage of me, and most of all, I was continually upset that people wouldn't do what I said. That is until I had a talk with every magnificent woman named Julianne Clayson-McGillis. Julianne is a National Sales Director with Mary Kay Cosmetics, and the VERY FIRST National Sales Director to ever debut in Utah. I do know her personally because I had the opportunity to work with her one on one when I was a sales director in Mary Kay several years back. For those of you who do not understand the importance of Julianne's position in this company, let me simply say this. She is in Mary Kay retirement. She NEVER has to sell another lipstick EVER again or recruit another consultant and she will still be a in the top 1% of people in Utah today when it comes to earned wages, including sports stars and well to do business men. Yes, she makes that much money and she lives in Sandy, Utah. And she did it by making TONS of sacrifices of herself in order to build up others and make them feel that they are of worth and value. Julianne had a crappy life. She was diagnosed with MS when she was a very young, single mom, but she never once used that as an excuse to not be a leader and more importantly, a good example!

Julianne explained to me that no matter what it is you are attempting to get people to do, you have to be willing to ask them in a nice a way and build them up or they will NEVER do what you ask of them with the proper attitude and spirit. She said threats do nothing but hurt feelings and cause much more harm than good! She gave us a great example one day in training that I want to share. She was speaking to us about her son who was HORRIBLE at keeping his room clean. (I mean to the point there was mold in there! GROSS!) So she started an experiment with him. Now, keep in mind this is a 17 year old boy who doesn't really care what his parents say, think, or do because if he felt too much pressure, he had already said he would just leave. So Julianne started with what I guess you could call reverse psychology on him. Every morning before he went off to school she would just give him a huge hug and then tell him thanks for being so willing to help her out and keep his room picked up. That was it. Well she said that for 2 months, NOTHING changed. He would give her a weird look and say "whatever mom" and leave. She never spoke to him negative, she never embarrassed him in front of his friends or the rest of their family, she never went and picked it up herself, she did nothing but build him up by saying thank-you to him. Yes, it was a thank-you and a recognition for something he had not done yet, but eventually he did! Actually he ended up doing so much more because he felt he was appreciated! That was the key she said…making others feel appreciated!

I have found this to be true in my own life. The more I give my kids POSITIVE recognition and re-enforcement, the better things are in my home. Do I still get cranky? YES!! Do the kids always do things perfectly? NO!! BUT, I do feel better about myself and my kids feel better about themselves and they get (well at least some of) the things done I want them to do for the most part. My next goal with my kids…CLEAN ROOMS! J

So the whole point of my journaling so late tonight, is because I have decided that the old saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink" TOTALLY applies to families, businesses, churches, schools, EVERY aspect in life where you are attempting to be a leader. A person must be humble and I pray daily that I am able to be humble so that I am able to see clearly the pathway in front of me as continue in my daily journey's of life!

DONE!!!

He he! I am so excited because I have figured out on my own how to have REALLY cool fonts on my blog! Yup, I am a nerd! I will not deny it!

So, I AM DONE!!!! Well, with this semester anyways. J Oh school! I just turned in my two final assignments for my two English classes and I am hoping I do good because so far in the one class, I have only missed 1 point out of all the points possible. I am truly a bit of an overachiever and I told you guys all that before!

BUT, I still have to finish up a couple of tests from my physics class a year ago which I took an incomplete in but that I plan on finishing this summer. Yes, Physics. I have already taken one semester and got an "A" in it, so I have to finish this other semester and get an "A" in it too.

I am sure many of you are asking me why I am so INSANE to keep on going to school while I am doing this magazine, it is because as long as I am going to school, I can keep my student loans in default! J It is ok, you can laugh! It is funny. Seth and I just do not have the money for me to have to make payments on those loans yet.

Yes, I know I am being uncouth for speaking of finances but WHO ISN'T now a days? With me starting this magazine, we took on a lot of debt and even though the magazine is paying its own bills, it doesn't pay me!

It will one day but I do not want to take money from the business until we get more of our initial start-up costs paid down. So until that day, I am just like everyone else and pinching pennies to survive. I was WAY excited about the whole end of semester thing and so I thought I would share it with ya!

OH, and I got this awesome new quote:

"Courage is the 
discovery that 
you may not win, 
and trying when 
you know you 
can lose." 
- Tom Krause

I love it because it reminds me that some days when I am feeling overwhelmed and asking myself why when it feels like I am only going to fail…that I just need to pick my head up and keep on pushing ahead!

THANKS GUYS! Talk to you later!

Michelle 4-20-09

The Choices We Make

I have to ask forgiveness especially during the month of April for not blogging more.  Between dance, tumbling, art, wrestling, magazine (and I do the work of about 5 normally paid positions for any other business!), working out, bathing and feeding kids, caring for my husband who just had knee surgery, the attempt on most nights to sleep, my own personal home work with college, my civic duties and my personal religious callings, ohm and when I can find the down time, an attempt at sleep....well you can tell April is HORRIBLE!  I call it my hell month because this is, for me at least, the very worst month of the year for being busy.  No, not even Christmas can hold a candle to end of the school things my kids and I are involved in.

 
 

Yes, I will admit, I must place the blame on myself for being SO busy, but at the same time, I am a firm believer in keeping my kids involved while they are younger (11, 8, and 5 years-old) so that when they are bigger, they will understand not only the value of work, but also how to use their time properly in order to accomplish things and how to more importantly prioritize things.

 
 

Learning how to prioritize is a really hard thing for people to learn.  It is DEFINITELY a learned skill.  Even I struggle with how to prioritize things in my life because I find it is REALLY easy to use this as an excuse to procrastinate or even to simply forego doing certain things.

 
 

It sucks when work pulls me away from my family.  But as an adult, I have to simply grin and bear it sometimes because that is the responsible thing to do.  On the other side of that coin however is the argument of taking care of one's self properly!

 
 

Learning how to maintain a balance in one's life is skill that is difficult to master for I feel that so many of us are also bound by our emotions and desires to please others and gain their acceptance.  How many times have you been asked to do something AND SAID YES, even though you really didn't want to do it?

 
 

I know I have.  Learning to say no is another skill that fits in with the ability to properly balance your life and prioritizing your chosen activities.

 
 

I had my sister call me tonight and ask me to go running.  I wanted to say yes SSSSOOOO badly, but I also knew that I had a commitment to the magazine to post the featured photo of the week on our website, just like I have the responsibility to run a load of laundry so my children and I can have clean clothes to wear tomorrow, just like I need to get the table cleared off and the dishes ran tonight, just like I needed to finish my last 2 assignments for this Spring semester of college, just like I needed to stop and just RELAX for a few moments because my body is screaming in pain at me because of my PMS cramps!

 
 

Do you see my point?

 
 

None of those activities I listed above are any less important than the next BUT how do I chose what to do?

 
 

Well for me, I have come to realize that there will be times that my life is simply NOT BALANCED!

 
 

Oh my goodness, did I say it?  Yes, I did!  I said it!  MY LIFE WILL NOT ALWAYS BE BALANCED AND WILL HAVE TO SAY NO OCCASIONALLY TO BOTH THINGS I REALLY WANT TO DO AND THINGS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DO (even if I feel a obligation to do it anyways!).

 
 

And why do I know that my life will not always be balanced, well it is because of one of my favorite quotes in the whole world:

 
 

"Short Term Sacrifices for a Long Term Gain!"

 
 

I learned this saying when I was a director with Mary Kay Cosmetics years ago.  Yes, I did sell Mary Kay and I was quite successful at it.  However there reached a time in my life when I needed to transition onto something else so that I could grow further into the woman I am meant to become.

 
 

The reason why I loved this quote so much is because it reminded that there are going to be days when my house is messy!  There are going to be days when I do not make it to the gym, or even out for a run with my sis!  There will be days when I have to forego that next chapter in my book, or a shooting expedition with my family, or even a weekend pheasant hunt because I need to do something else in order to try to make things better for me and my family!

 
 

So how do I know when to forego one activity for another, honestly, it is a case by case analysis.  Some days I will knock off work early and get my kids and tell them it is ok to skip dance and tumbling and hang out in front of the TV with me just for down time.  Some days, I will forego sleep in order to be able to deliver upon a commitment  I have to a client at work and I will stay up all night if I have to (YES, I have done it on more than one occasion!) in order to prepare a presentation for them that will hopefully meet or beat their expectations.  Some days, I will forego even a run if my body is so worn down that it is not functioning properly in order to avoid injury of both mind and body!

 
 

But then there are some days when I am on top of the world and everything clicks into place EXACTLY the way it should...I REALLY wish I had more of those days, but until then, I will be happy as I learn day by day to take care of myself so I am then able to be better at EVERY single other aspect of life and career.

 
 

Hopefully this makes sense to you.  Do not however use this as reason to NOT fulfill any obligations that you might have to others.  I do occasionally have to reschedule, BUT only if things are truly beyond my control.  I feel it is important to keep yourself busy for I truly do believe that "Idle Hands Are the Devil's Workshop!".  And it also has a tendency to allow you to pull yourself down into a place where it is hard to keep a positive mental attitude.

 
 

Your own mind is not only your greatest ally, but your deadliest weapon when it comes to self inflicted wounds.  Make sure you are feeding it what it needs to stay strong!

 
 

IF YOU THINK YOU, YOU CAN!!

 
 

Talk to you soon!

Michelle 4-19-2009

So it begins...AGAIN!

HA HA! I have to laugh because I must say that there is A LOT of truth about the cycles and rythms that our bodies go through! Just like my end of the quarter goal...I missed it! IT SUCKS!!! I was really upset becuase I was only able to get down one more lbs and so I ended it at 222 lbs. Then I did go into to Kody's for like a week because of work and who knows what I am weighing now!

So I figured that it is time to wipe away those tears and just buck up and pull on my big girl panties and move forward from here! That is what I am doing! It has been a diffucult last few weeks because of the activities that my kids are involved in and then also because of some personal things in my life as well as in the lives of Jenn and Christine! You will have to read their blogs CUZ I AIN'T TELLING!!! :)

So I hit the gym again yesterday and I will do it everyday this week so that I can get back on track! I just had a salad for my breakfast so that I am not tempted to eat some SUGAR!!! And I figure that I have to take the good AND the bad as I make this journey!

Thanks for all of those how have supported us and we look forward to hearing from you!

Michelle 4-8-2009