HERE THEY ARE!

AAAHHHH!!!! These are so scary, but here they are in all their not so shiny glory!

Ok so here are my starting stats as of the day these pics were taken which was Monday, November 24, 2008:
Weight: 246 lbs.
Height: 5' 7"
Waist: 48 inches
Hips: 50 inches
Bicep: 13 inches
Upper Thigh: 26 inches
Neck: 14.5 inches
Chest (under breasts): 42 inches
Overarm: 57 inches


Ok, So I am sure for many of you, there is some overwhelming feelings of yuckiness in your throat right now! AND BY ALL MEANS YOU SHOULD BE GROSSED OUT!

These pics are nasty and this is why I want to change my lifestyle! I AM NOT ON A DIET! I AM CHANGING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND WITH EXERCISE!! This is a very important thing to keep in mind. Carl told us that the word "diet" is off limits for us to say and I totally agree!

We need to remember that this is a change I want to make on a long term level. I mean I have committed the next 12 months MINIMUM to making this change and losing the weight. This is a true commitment on my part because I want to have more for my family and I by being healthy enough to not have to depend on caffeine for my energy.

I want to be able to go hiking with my kids, running and playing paintball with my kids, swimming with my kids! Do you know that I have not been to a public swimming pool in a bathing suit in over 10 years! No, I am not lying! And the reason why is
because I am so embarrassed about how I look and feel and my kids are getting old enough that they are picking up on my dislike of my own body.

This makes me think about the messages I am sending out to my kids. I make sure I keep my children VERY active in a lot of activities because I do not want them to develop the lazy habits that I have taken up. I want them to stay healthy and not increase their chance of heart disease and diabetes which runs in my family already! I want our family to develop a heritage of choosing to stay healthy and fit and not just luck into it. Most people who are thin are that way by choice.

You know it is more then just thin, it is healthy! I don't care if they are thin per say as long as they are healthy! I am not healthy at this point. Oh, I may have great cholesterol and blood pressure FOR NOW, but what about next year, or in 5 years, or in 10 years? What about then? With my weight like it is now, I am a ticking time bomb for any number of things to go wrong!

Sorry, not trying to preach! Everyone has their own reason for doing what they do and for me, FOOD was my comfort! I ate because I felt that this was all I was able to control in my life at times! I am beginning more then just a weight loss routine, I am on a journey of self discovery and for me that is the most important part! Oh, do not mistake, I still have issues with food and why I choose to eat the amounts that I do, BUT at least I am taking those steps to work it out AND CARL PARKER IS A HUGE PART OF THAT!!! Just like my nutrionist Joyce, and my doctor, Dr. Shaun Shertluff!!

I WANT TO BE THE BEST MOM AND WIFE I CAN POSSIBLY BE!!! And this is what will help me to do that! I look forward to sharing more with you all and PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS!! But please keep them positive ok! This was and is really hard for me to do...putting the pictures out that is! It is really scary and I know that I am not the fittest person you have ever seen which is why I am doing this and I can only hope that I am able to inspire some of you to live a more healthy lifestyle too!


Michelle 11-30-2008

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!?

Well, it is the day after my first workout with Carl! OUCH!!! And you know what sucks? IT ALWAYS HURTS WORSE ON THE SECOND DAY! LOL!!!

I have to totally laugh though because when it came to my upper body strength, I truly thought I was pretty ok. HAHAHAHA!!! That was until Carl decided we needed to do upper body training on Sat that I was suddenly and most rudely was brought out of my wonderful cloud of ignorance as to what my strength IS NOT! He kicked my butt! I AM CRYING A LOT RIGHT NOW!!! I am sure you are all laughing and that is totally fine because I do realize that this pain is going to help me to shape my body into something sexy! AND YES, I WANT TO BE SEXY!!! LOL!!

It was a really amazing week overall though. Other then today, I have made a real effort (and succeeded) at making sure I exercised 6 days out of 7. So understand that not everyone has to do that, but I am really serious about wanting to lose weight and look good for this upcoming summer season when my girlfriends and I are able to take our husbands to Vegas and have a well deserved trip.

It is overall really nice to have this ache back in my muscles because I know that in the end it means that I will be stronger and healthier AND WILL BE ABLE TO HIKE UP AND DOWN THE MOUNTAIN ON THE ELK HUNT WITHOUT DYING!!!

I am supposed to meet with Carl again tomorrow and I am a bit apprehensive because I worked out so hard this last time that I was literally sick to my stomach last night. BUT it definitely made me not want to eat dessert after dinner last night because I knew I would have to do extra work to take those pounds off.

Oh, don't worry, I caved today and ate two desserts to make up for yesterday! BUT, at least I have been off the diet coke for almost a week now. That is amazing and probably another BIG reason why I am getting sick! LOL!!! My poor body is just trying to flush all of this crap out of its system!

This week I lost 4 lbs. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?!? I am so excited but so nervous about whether or not I will be able to keep it up (the losing weight part!) I will never miss an appt with Carl and I will see him at least 3 times per week because this is how my level of commitment goes!

I KNOW WE ALL CAN DO IT TOGETHER!!!

Michelle 11-30-2008

Victories!

So I am not even sure what to name this blog! I am just going to write and put down a few of my thoughts for today.

SO my husband and I went and looked at a couple of new horses that we are going to be getting and I am so excited. Of course the weather is getting cold and I am finding excuses to not ride as much. LOL!! I have hardly rode at all since the elk hunt. Mostly because I feel bad for my mare. SHe is older and I am heavy and I feel bad about making her haul me around.

I am excited though because on Fri I get to meet with Carl again. It makes me nervous too though. He told me yesterday how the bag and I were going to be really good friends...translated this means WORK! :) I am OK with that though. Anyone who knows me can verify the fact that I am a hard worker. That is what it is going to take to get my self out of this ugly situation too, HARD WORK. I have never backed down from a challenage and this is no exception.

I am sure you will hear me complain LOTS MORE before this is over, but understand that just because I am complaining, it does not mean that I am not working!

AND GUESS WHAT...

NO SODAS AT ALL FOR OVER 24 HOURS!!! ACTUALLY 48 HOURS now that I think about it! YEAH!!! Small victories equal large successes, right? I hope so! I need a victory! I need a success!

Michelle 11-26-2008

It can only be described as PAIN...

AAAHHH!!!! I HURT!!! LOL!! Quit laughing all of you! You don't even know what I am saying is hurting. No, it is not my legs after my work-out yesterday, well ok maybe those hurt too. And they will only hurt worse because I also got in a good bowflex routine today! I CAN SAY "SORE" because that is exactly what I will be tomorrow!

ACTUALLY, it was seeing MY VERY LARGE MID-SECTION in that very small camera screen, AND realizing that it was only going to look worse when I actually saw it on the computer screen and that made my heart and soul really hurt!

I also got to meet with Carl Parker today! Can I tell you WOW!! This guy is awesome. He is the fitness consultant/life coach that is going to be helping the girls and I on our journey of self discovery! I am sure you are laughing as you read this, but it is really the truth. If you ever have the chance to work with Carl, I want you to scoop it up and relish every moment because he is so worth it when it comes to his insights. And can you say in shape! I can and this makes me glad because he explained some of his own struggles he has been dealing with over the last few months and it makes me feel like there is hope for me as I work towards a healthier me!

Ok enough of the gooshy stuff because now I have to tell you why I hate him! LOL!!! HE SAID NO MORE DIET COKE!!! AAAHHH!!!! No more diet coke, doesn't he understand that diet coke is ambrosia, it the sweet nectar of the gods and goddesses of which I am one, aren't I? LOL!!! He challenged me to just be tough and trust him, hhhmmm, do I dare? Well, at this point in time, YES!!! If I want anything to change in my life, then I have to trust him and I will and we meet for the first time on Fri which is going to be VERY enlightening!

And guess what else, I should be posting my "before" pics here shortly. You guys have no idea how very scared I am of doing this, BUT I AM!!! I am facing my big ,fat fears (hehe, it was a pun!) and I am going to shed my insecurities in order to live a healthier and happier life!

THANKS CARL, THANKS CHRISTINE, AND THANKS JENNIFER!!! (After all Jenn, it is your fault we started this! :) )

Michelle 11-25-2008

Monday Morning Bliss

Monday mornings are so divine don't you think? I love them! You have had all weekend to psych yourself up for what you are going to do the next week and you know that it will all begin on a Monday morning!

Of course this might also be a way of procrastinating and trying to put off until tomorrow those things that you really should be doing today! I am the QUEEN of procrastination! Oh, do not mistake me...I still get A LOT of stuff done but I am also really good at putting it off.

So this morning my alarm goes off at 6 AM like it always does, and like I always do, I put my phone on silent (this is also my alarm clock cuz I use a Blackberry) so I don't have to listen to my phone chime as all my emails come rolling in from the night while my phone was turned off. Like always, I turned on my TV to Fox 13 and start to watch the news, and like always, I tell myself I need to roll my big set of hind quarters out of bed and do something...you know, like work out! :)

So this has been my daily routine for nearly 2 years now. At one time I did get up at 5 AM every morning and went walking with two of my friends. We would walk in the dark, along side the road every weekday morning for a distance of about 4 miles. And it was a good walk, I mean we had some REALLY big hills we walked up.

So these last two weeks I have been, in essence, psyching myself up for today to get out of bed and exercise on my treadmill before I get my kids up for school. Any guesses as to what I did?

Oh Come On...

I Really Want You to Guess....

Ok....

Here is what I did...

NOTHING!!!

Yes, You read that right, a big fat nothing! In fact I am going to tell you my dirty seceret for today...I made my husband take the kids to school. (normally I do that so I can get myself going in the morning!) AND THEN I LAID IN BED AND ATE 6 HUGE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES!!! That is AWFUL!!! Actually, I felt really bad about doing that so I immediately got out of bed and by the way, I hardly EVER sleep in. I am normally out of bed and up doing stuff by 7 AM every day, not just on school days! So at 9:30 AM today I went for a mile and a half on my treadmill. I even ran! I went in 2 minute intervals of running and even changed up the incline on my treadmill to give myself an even better work out. I did this for 25 minutes of off and on running and walking and varying my speeds and incline but the whole time making sure I was keeping my heart rate in my target range.

Hopefully I will do this again tomorrow...Only without the cookies and stuff!

Michelle 11-24-2008

Slowly But Surely

I have to laugh at myself because first of all I am a first rate goofball, and secondly I am simply a big fat dork! I am doing this weightless thing right AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A SCALE! EWH! Dirty word right? Well when I went and saw the doc the other day he gave me a challenge and that was lose to lose 6 lbs before I came back to see him in 3 three weeks. No, it is not on my own, it is using some of my old weight loss routines that have worked in the past.

well...it didn't start off that great because it was Thursday and you had to be living under a rock to not know that in the Basin they were having numerous midnight showings of Twilight! AND YES I WENT!!! As a matter of a fact the girls and I all went together and even made it a double header by going and seeing the new James Bond flick "Quantum of Solace". WOW I loved that one, it totally motivated me to watch what I was eating there at the movie AND IT DID!!

I am trying really hard to make sure that even when I have a snack it is not a meal of snacks. I need more protein is what my doc said and so I am trying to in add in more protein to what I eat. AND EATING BREAKFAST!!

I am horrible about eating breakfast! I DON'T! But I need too! In fact what he told me was 40%, 40%, 20%. So 40% of your calories for breakfast, 40% of your calories for lunch and then the last 20% for dinner. I am trying REALLY HARD to do this and I think it is working. BUT, I am just going to surprise myself at the doctors in two weeks when I go in for my follow up appt! WISH ME LUCK!!!

Talk to you later!

Michelle 11-23-2008

Real Life

I AM SO EXCITED!!! I meet with my doctor today, who by the way IS TOTALLY AWESOME! His name is Shaun Shurtlef and he practices family medicine in Vernal at Ashley Regional Medical Center. He is a total riot to talk to AND he is really good at helping people lose weight and KEEP IT OFF!

So I went in today and got my physical. UGH...he is talking about a colonoscopy, which totally makes me feel old if I am talking about doing things like that. OH WELL! If it means in the end (haha-get your mind out of the gutter), I get to live a much more product life because I am able to keep on doing those things I love to do...THEN BRING ON THE BACKLESS GOWN!!! :)

It has been VERY stressful over the last few days because it is our deadline week. BUT WE GOT IT PUT TO BED TODAY!!! WAHOO!!! That is such a wonderful feeling when you push that send button for the final time and you watch as cyber space whisks your files over to be turned in the magazine! AND EVEN WITH THE STRESS OF THAT...I did pretty good with my eating. OK, except for maybe last night when a freind of mine brought over these decadent chocolate brownies. Hey, I only had four of them. Ok, maybe those four were the equivilent of a half of a pan of brownies. Ok and so maybe it was the 13x9 pan and not the little 8x8 pan. OK, OK...I broke down and indulged...BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT!!! I LOVE BROWNIES.

And Dr. Shurtlef even said today that it is ok to have those sweet treats...as long as I am willing to put in the extra work to burn off those extra sugar calories. OH MAN...THAT MEANS LIKE 3 MONTHS ON MY TREADMILL TO BURN OFF THOSE BROWNIES I JUST ATE. :) It will be worth it in the end though when I hit my target goal of 150 lbs.

Dr. Shurtlef and I talked about it today and we both agree 150 lbs is a great place for me to be! BUT...

HERE COMES THE SCARY PART...

READY TO HEAR IT...

HOW MUCH WEIGHT I HAVE TO LOSE THAT IS....

I AM TOTALLY PROCRASTINATING TELLING YOU, CAN'T YOU TELL...

100 lbs!!!!

Yes, you heard me right, I am going to lose 100 lbs. over the next year while we are doing our weight lose contest. It is not going to be easy and I know this, but I know that I can do it! And i want to do it! I don't want to give up things like riding my horse because I am afraid I will hurt her. I want to feel better, I don't want my body to hurt all the time because my weight stresses out my joints, and yes...I want to have crazy wild sex with my husband without parts moving that really shouldn't be moving! (Dude, it totally ruins the moment!)

Well, the next step is the nutrionist who is going to help me with setting up the right kind of menu so that I am eating the right foods at the right time. (Notice I did not say diet?) I am wanting to change my life and I will and you will get to see it all because this is REAL LIFE!!!

Michelle 11-20-2008

Baby Steps

Ok, so how many of you have seen that movie "What About Bob"? Well if you have then you will totally know what I mean when I say baby steps, if you haven't then I will explain just real quick. Bob is this guy with TONS of fears! (Worse then Monk...almost!) Ya gotta watch USA to know what I am talking about. So Bob drives this one therapist nuts because he is so "needy" and this therapist refers him to another therapist who is basking in the glory of his self help book entitled "Baby Steps".

The gist of the story is that this therapist helps Bob to overcome LOTS of his fears by telling him that anything can be done with baby steps! One small step at a time. Bob becomes obsessed with this nee therapist and way funny things happen and blah, blah, blah...

THE POINT IS THE BABY STEPS!!!!

That was my day today. Seriously, I woke up this morning and was totally depressed and was going to even ditch out on my responsibilities with work (I can, I am kinda the boss!) and even make my husband take my kids to school since he was leaving for work then also. And then my beautiful daughter came running in reminded me she was Top Cat. This is a special honor Neola Elementary does for their students and each week one student from each grade is chosen and they get to display their personal effects in a case in the front hall for all their friends to see. THIS A REALLY HUGE DEAL FOR AN 8-YEAR OLD and I couldn't be the loser mom (another one of my self talk struggles) who wasn't there to help her put her stuff in the case.

AAAAHHHH!!!! THIS MEANS I HAVE 15 MINUTES TO GET DRESSED, DO HAIR, GET MAKE-UP ON AND GET THESE KIDS TO SCHOOL!!!! I have to have my make-up on...please chil', me not have on make-up! HAH! So I do this!

Well, now I am dressed and ready to go to work which I needed to anyways, so the first thing I do is start to PRO-CRAS-TIN-ATE. Can you all say it with me!?!?! Yes, I am a last minute type person WHICH IS NOT GOOD!!!

So I go to the office get on the comp and make an ad and tell Jennifer she has to go and deliver it (see, once again I am pretending to be the boss! :)!) Well since I sent her out to work I am beginning to feel a little more motivated, but only a little...I cut out my first thing in the morning 6 pack of diet coke...I WAS DEAD!!! And man I had a headache, ok so not a 6 pack, but still u know what I mean, I am trying to live healthy here!

Well then I have to take my youngest to preschool and as I drive to town I keep telling myself things like "Well your never going to sell an ad today!" "He He He! You're fat and no one takes you serious anyways" (Yes I say this crap to myself all the time!)

Well you wanna know what, I did sell an ad, and then I came home and made a halfway healthy dinner! (hey man, at least I made dinner, normally it is cold cereal OR deli at Jubilee!)

Ok so there was alot of other stuff that went on too but I don't want to bore you...

THE POINT IS...

I took baby steps and even when I was trying to talk myself out of doing what I needed to do, because I had taken a few small steps and I had the support of family and friends (whether they knew it or not!) I MADE PROGRESS TODAY!!!

It is important to know that when it comes to weight loss this is a lifestyle change, which means even how I structure my day will have to adjust in order for me to be successful.

BUT IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!

It has too because I want more from life then self doubt and negative self talk.

AND I GO SEE MY DOC ON THURSDAY FOR MY PHYSICAL. AAAHHH! SO SCARY, I will let you all know what I find out!

Talk to you later.

Michelle 11-17-2008

"We Are The Champions...Of The World!"

OK...

So this whole food journal thing REALLY SUCKS!!! :) I can't lie to myself about the amount of food I eat or sometimes don't eat. I have a problem of not eating and then binging. Not good. Today I did pretty good though except for here it is late at night and I GET SNACKY...AND NOT FOR CARROTS.

I want to good stuff baby, the chocolate, the sugar, the salt, THE CALORIES!!! I have got to readjust my sleeping habits and get up earlier instead of staying up late like so many of us moms do.

I know you have the same problem as I do...

Stay up late to get stuff done and then you cant roll your big hiney out of bed to go and exercise. But it really is because I work from home most of the time and I have an open door policy with my office (actually I have NO DOOR on my office). If my kids need me, I am there. I need to learn how to better manage my time so that I do not have to stay up until 2 AM and then I will be able to get up at 5 AM a lot easier!

It will happen...I know it will. I will happen because I will make it happen. I have done this before when I was going to school at U of U and I had a 7 AM class and had to drive down from Heber everyday. It is all a matter of mind set!

How do you chose to spend this day? You do realize once this day is gone, you will never get it back, so make sure you are doing what you know will make your day the fullest!

Talk to you later BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BED!!! Big work day tomorrow for the girls and I since it is deadline week and we are still working on a few ads and a few articles. THE JOYS OF BEING A PUBLISHER!!! And of course A MOM!!!

Michelle 11-16-2008

One more day...

Ok Christine sucks! :)!!! (I AM SO KIDDING!! I can say this because I love her and we have been friends forever.) Her and her karate. Actually you guys, she is really awesome at being healthy which is why I have so much respect for her and why I am worried about going up against her in this contest.

But at least I know I have two very worthy opponents and for that I am so grateful.

Today another bad day, but a least it is getting better. Fewer calories which is good. I have not yet meet with the nutritionist because I will do that next week, but I have had some experience about the types of foods my body does well on and which ones that it doesn't do so well with. I am trying to retrain myself to gravitate towards those healthy snacks and it is hard. I have many years to work against when it comes to how I am behaving with my body.

It will come though. Each day (and it is only the 3rd day) I find myself with more and more control even if I am not making perfect choices everyday, at least I am making one better choice each day. Like having the apple instead of the cookie tonight! I hope this gives hope to those of you out there who think that they can't do it! I KNOW YOU CAN IF I CAN!!! Let's do it together.

Thanks for following us on our journeys and PLEASE POST COMMENTS SO WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!

Michelle - 11-15-08

THIS IS HARD!!!

Ok, so today was horrible right! All I could do was think about how I am supposed to be starting this big change and I ATE MORE AND MORE!!!

I had a nice roasted chicken sandwich from Round Robin only to have it slathered in ranch and big ol' fat piece of Canadian bacon on it! AAAHHH!!!! Then I had a doughnut on top of it. Not a good day, but as least I am having a salad for dinner. Good for me and my waistline. I can already tell you what i am going to have the hardest time getting rid of...MY DIET COKE!!! I LOVE IT!!!

Well, I will keep you posted! 11-14-2008

IT BEGINS!

Ok! I am so excited just so VERY SCARED to on this challenage. I won't lie, I am a bit of a control freak and so this means that I like to show that I am in control of my surroundings and that what I do, I do on purpose. So for me to admit that my weight is YUCKY...well it is hard to swallow. Ha ha, ok not so much hard to swallow because otherwise I wouldn't have a weight issue huh!

So Jennifer came up with this great plan to help all of us get in shape and help to change our lives so that we are living a better life. I am scared...I love to eat! I worry about having to face the reasons why I eat! I am an emotional eater and the more stressed I become, the more rich and decadent the desserts become! That is why I am so glad that Jennifer offered up this great idea for us to go and get our lives on the right track.

Christine, Jennifer, and I are in this competition because it is easier to have the moral support while you undertake something like changing your lifestyle. We are going to be updating this blog often and yes you will be able to see our stats and our progress because it will make us accountable to not only ourselves, BUT YOU OUR READERS!!! Please bear with me though! I am weak and I will admit it there is a really good chance that I am going to have set backs on my eating habits. But I want you to now that I am still going to work at it! I am going to put it all out there for you to see so that you can see my true progress!

I am so very excited about us being able to get back to the gym and work out! I can not wait until I am able to start lifting those wieghts and feeling that horrible soreness the day after! Lol! you know what I mean if you have ever had a really good work out! AND THE SECOND DAY IS THE WORSE! Oh well. Like I said, I am excited and I really do hope you will join along side with us!

So here I go! I am scared but excited and I am ready! I am ready to make my life better by making my body healthier! ARE YOU GOING TO JOIN ME ON THE HEALTHY EDGE! 11-13-2008